[flashback:]
Barney: "Sad"? Lady, I got 14 girls' numbers in the last hour. And this was an off night. Heh-heh. What can I possibly be sad about?
The Mother: I think you were in love and you messed it up. And every moment of your life since has been spent trying to stay busy enough to ignore that fact.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's how Barney met your mother.

[flashback:]
Barney: We tried dating a while back, and it was a disaster. But I always regret giving up. It just ended so quickly. [chuckles] What about you? You and your boyfriend gonna go the distance?
The Mother: I don't know. I think maybe I still haven't met the right guy.
Barney: Hm. Wonder if I know someone to set you up with. Drawing a blank.
The Mother: Are you gonna go get this girl or what?
Barney: I don't know. I'm kind of at my peak right now. I don't know if I can just walk away from the game.
The Mother: Do you want to keep playing? Or do you want to win?
Barney: I want to win. What am I doing? In less than 20 minutes, Robin and I could be...
The Mother: Oh, no. This is gonna take more than 20 minutes. This is gonna take everything you have got. This is gonna take all your time, all of your attention, all of your resources. This is the big one, Diaper Man. You've gotta do it right. You can't be messing around picking up girls in drug stores. You got work to do.

[flashback to Ted and Marshall talking in MacLaren's:]
Ted: We're not platonic. "Platonish" maybe, if that's even a word. But not platonic. I mean, there's something between us, and there always will be. Man, if this was eight years ago, I'd be jumping into a cab right now to go steal that blue French horn.
Marshall: Well, why don't you?
Ted: I don't know. It just doesn't seem to work that way anymore. I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. But now? I don't know, I figure if it's gonna happen, it'll happen when it happens. I'm not going anywhere, she's not going anywhere. What's the rush, right?
[As Ted and Marshall talk, Barney begins to draft "The Robin" in "The Playbook"]

Robin: Look, guys, just seriously, don't worry about me. Just let me deal with this on my own.
Barney: I'm afraid that's not possible, Robin. Once I've accepted a challenge, it cannot be unaccepted. I will not rest until the job is done.
Lily: Oh, is that so? Then where are our diapers and samosas? Aha!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Diapers and samosas. That's a story that took place six months earlier in the fall of 2012.
[flashback to MacLaren's:]
Robin & Ted: [saluting] Major Craving For A Mojito.
Lily: Oh, God, we're back to your stupid little private joke again? Are you guys really still doing this seven years later? It's so annoying. Just stop it.
Robin & Ted: [saluting] Private Joke Again? Are You Still Doing This Seven Years Later? It's So Annoying. Just Stop It.
Lily: You don't salute a private.

Ted: Can't believe your mom's not coming to the wedding.
Robin: Okay, seriously, I need to stop crying. Does anyone know how to turn this off? Is there, like, a button or something?
Barney: Want me to feel around for it? It's probably somewhere on your back. What? Trying to cheer you up.
Robin: I don't think that's possible at this point.
Barney: Challenge accepted.

Robin: No, Barney, I just need to get myself to stop crying, that's all.
Lily: Boogiddy-boo!
Ted: Lily, what the hell? It's not the hiccups.
Lily: I was just going on a hunch.
Robin: [hiccups] And now I have the hiccups.

[flashback:]
Ted: Unknown caller, stop calling me.
Lily: Are you gonna answer it?
Ted: Yeah. Because it's 1994 and I'm gonna pick up a phone without knowing who's on the other end.

[flashback:]
Marshall: Open your eyes, ref! That's not a pregnant lady!
Ted: It's a basketball under his shirt! Blow the freaking whistle!
Marshall: Anyways, Barney's right. I would absolutely let the bar blow up.
Ted: But you'd die. And Lily would die too.
Marshall: Yeah, then we could haunt the bar, like we planned. Anyways, Robin's your girl.
Ted: Why keep coming back to this?
Marshall: It's fun. Tickets are cheap. Gets us out of the house.
Ted: No. Me and Robin.
Marshall: Because Robin told me that she's still in love with you.

[flashback:]
Ted: Are you serious? Robin told you that she's still in love with me?
Marshall: No, I just made that up. But it was worth it because I can tell by your face that you still have feelings for Robin.
Ted: Okay, Bull is sitting on the basket!
Marshall: That's not only illegal, it's unsafe! Come on, Gens! D up!

[flashback:]
Robin: [on the phone] Hi. Did you just give your phone number to a guy who was squeaking like a dolphin?
Woman: Yeah.
Robin: Honey, listen to me. I need you to take a year. A full year. And just be celibate, okay? No boys, one year. Think you know I'm right about this.
Woman: You're right.
Robin: Yeah.