Ted: Hey, man.
Marshall: Shh.
Ted: Sorry about what I said before. You want to go to the store and get some beer?
Marshall: Lily is asleep. I suppose I could reschedule my pedicure. What the hell? But only light beer because we have a couple's hike in the morning.

Future Ted: [v.o.] When Barney finally tracked down your Aunt Robin, it wasn't a pretty sight.
Barney: Good morning.
Robin: Barney? Oh, my God. What happened last night?
Barney: You went Canadian.
Robin: How Canadian?
Barney: This Canadian. [opens the curtains] Oh, that was supposed to be a dramatic view of the Toronto sky... You're in Toronto.

Robin: Oh, God. Okay. It's coming back to me. I, uh, I went into the Hoser Hut... And I met this women's curling team. [v.o.] We started drinking. And the next thing I know, they're inviting me to a Bryan Adams/Rich Little double bill in Toronto.

Barney: Now, listen... You slipped up. It's fine. The test is in a few hours.
Robin: Barney, I'm not taking the test.
Barney: God, you're still drunk.
Robin: Look, I appreciate your help, but... who am I kidding? I'm Canadian. I always will be.
Barney: Now, that's ridiculous. We're gonna get some coffee, in you, we'll sober you up, and get you back to New York for that test. But, before any of that, we're gonna do it on this bed 'cause... hotel room. [off Robin's look] Okay, let's get some coffee.

Ted: A little rubbery. Room temperature. Kind of gross.
Marshall: You're making me wonder if this pizza is worth the 22 hour drive.
Ted: Just like old times!
Marshall: I feel so young again except for the chest pains.

Barney: What's wrong? Other than the fact that this five dollar bill they gave you is blue.
Robin: Wow. I'm not American,and apparently I'm not Canadian either.
Barney: And there's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you.

Marshall: We shouldn't have left Lily.
Ted: Well, if you're so worried, why don't you give her a call?
Marshall: I have. I left her, like, 20 messages. I said, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It's all Ted's fault!"
Ted: What exactly is "Ted's fault"?
Marshall: This! This whole thing! We were having a perfectly nice trip, and then you kidnapped me. You didn't even let me, put on underwear!
Ted: We never used to put on underwear!

Robin: Barney, I've thought about this. When you stood up and told off those people, I thought, "Yeah, America's cool."
Barney: Hmm.
Robin: And then when those guys pounded the stuffing out of you, I thought, "Yeah, Canada's pretty cool, too." I may have taken a few pokes myself. So, I've decided, dual citizenship. I'm going to be American and Canadian.
Barney: Wait, you can do that?
Robin: Yeah, dummy. Instead of being a woman with no country, I'm going to be a woman with two.
Barney: I see.
Robin: You understand?
Barney: No, I can see out of my left eye again.

Marshall: Hey, baby? Baby?
Lily: Hmm? Yeah?
Marshall: I'm so sorry that we left you.
Lily: Did you go somewhere, sweetie?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Yes, kids, it turns out Crumpet Manor had pampered Lily into a nearly comatose state of relaxation. She didn't even notice we were gone.

Lily: So, I had a great time, too.
Marshall: That's good. And I'm so sorry you didn't get any pizza.
Lily: Oh, that's okay.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And if she didn't mean it then, she certainly meant it 19 minutes later.
[nineteen minutes later:]
Marshall: God, my stomach! Damn you, Gazzola's!
Ted: It's like a hot ball of lead!
Marshall: Baby, cut it out of me. Cut it out!