Lily: Unpause?
Marshall: Unpause.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Let's pause. See, Marshall and Lily had a rule that at any point during a fight they could pause and take a break. Their fights often lasted for days.
Marshall: A painting fellowship?
Lily: I was never going to take it.
Marshall: In California?
Lily: I was never going to take it.

Barney: Ted, she is going on that camping trip. Dude, barring some act of God, Robin's gonna be with Sandy this weekend.
Ted: Fine. If an act of God is what it takes, then an act of God it is.
Barney: What are you talking about?
Ted: I'm gonna make it rain.

Penelope: Why the hell should I help you?
Barney: Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did... have a relationship.
Penelope: We had sex twice in your car, and then you dumped me. How is that a relationship?
Barney: Twice!

Marshall: You know, if you're having these kind of doubts now, what's gonna change in three months? Maybe we just shouldn't get married at all.
Lily: Maybe not.
Both: Pause.
Lily: So, are you just, like, starving?
Marshall: Totally. Red Lobster?

Lily: Oh, lobster, lobster, lobster, you are delicious!
Marshall: Oh, God, I love butter sauce! There's nothing bad about it. Say something bad about butter sauce, I dare you.
Lily: I wouldn't dare. [Marshall starts crying] Marshall, no. We're on pause. There's no crying in pauseland! Pauseland is a magical place, with... with popcorn shrimp mountains and butter sauce rivers!

[As Ted does his "rain dance"]
Barney: Ted, this is funny. Still funny. Still fu... And now it's sad.

Ted: Hey, Penelope, you sure I'm doing this right?
Penelope: I think so.
Ted: Does it, uh, look anything like a real rain dance?
Penelope: I think so.
Ted: Hey, Penelope, have you, uh, have you ever actually seen a rain dance performed?
Penelope: No.
Ted: No?
Penelope: I've read extensively on the subject: firsthand accounts, theoretical criticism, the anthropological...
Ted: Have you ever seen a rain dance?
Penelope: I've seen a film strip.
Ted: Terrific. Uh, look, I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple episodes of E.R. I can't believe this. We've been up here for the past hour making complete asses of ourselves.
Barney: What do you mean "we," white man?

Marshall: How did we get here? Couple of days ago, the biggest problem in my life was, did Ted eat the last pudding snack pack in the fridge.
Lily: I think there's still one left.
Marshall: Dibs.

Lily: Unpause?
Marshall: Unpause.
Lily: Look, I know this sucks. It's just something I'm going through. I'm not asking you to understand it. I'm not asking you to be happy about it. I'm just asking you to support it.
Marshall: I want to, Lily, okay? I really do. But I just can't.
Lily: Why not?
Marshall: Because you're scaring the hell out of me, that's why not. What if you decide to go be a painter and then you realize I don't fit in to your life anymore, and three months becomes forever? Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?
Lily: Marshall...
Marshall: 'Cause if you can't promise me that, we should just break up right now. I'm not gonna wait around for three months just to have my heart ripped out.
Lily: Marshall, I love you.
Marshall: Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?
Lily: Pause.
Marshall: No, Lily, we cannot pause this anymore. Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?!
Lily: Pause!
Marshall: Why do you want me to pause?! [Lily jumps on Marshall and kisses him] That's just a great use of the pause function, baby.
Lily: Thank you.

Barney: Hey, Ted. Whatcha doing?
Ted: A rain dance.
Barney: Dude, that's not a rain dance, that's a fat kid with a bee in his pants.
Ted: Look, I highly doubt the Great Spirit is a stickler for choreography. It's the thought that counts. She's leaving in half an hour.
Barney: These are your awesome years. You're wasting them on this girl. This isn't gonna work!
Ted: Yeah, I know that.
Barney: Well, then why are you doing this?
Ted: Because I love her. I love her! I told her that the first night we went out, and here it is, eight months later, and nothing's changed. So yes, I know this isn't gonna work. But it has to work! You hear me, universe? This is Ted Mosby talking! Give me some rain! Come on! Come on! Come on...! [thunder claps, rain pours]
Barney: Oh, come on!