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31Quotes from ‘Come On’

How I Met Your Mother: Come On

122. Come On

Aired May 15, 2006

As Ted makes a bold effort to win Robin over, Marshall finds out about Lily's summer fellowship in San Francisco.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: It was May of 2006 in New York City and life was good. But everything was about to change.
Ted: So... what do you think?
Barney: Robin again? Ted, the universe clearly does not want you and Robin to be together. Don't piss off the universe. The universe will slap you.
Ted: Don't you think the universe has more important things to worry about than my dating life?
Marshall: Unless your dating life is the glue holding the entire universe together... Whoa, chills. Anybody else get chills?
Ted: Look, I realize we've been down this road before, but the fact is, whatever I do, it all keeps coming back to Robin, so I gotta do this. [Barney slaps him] Ow! What the hell?
Barney: That wasn't me. That was the universe.

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Quote from Lily

Ted: Lily, I'm going to need the spare key to Robin's apartment.
Barney: I see where this is going. Ted, waiting naked in a girl's bed wearing whipped cream undies does not work... usually. The setting: Martha's Vineyard, 1999. The characters: Yours truly and a raven-haired au pair by the name-
Lily: [slaps Barney] Universe.

Quote from Barney

Ted: I can't let Robin go camping with this guy. So how do I keep that from happening? Simple, I make it rain!
Barney: Ted, do you want me to slap you again? 'Cause I kind of enjoyed it the first time.
Ted: Look, I-I might be crazy right now... No, you know what? I am definitely crazy right now, but I have a plan. That girl you used to go out with, Penelope, wasn't she getting her PhD in Native American culture?
Barney: Yeah.
Ted: Are you still in touch with her?
Barney: Sure. I mean, even though we stopped having sex, we still get together, like, once a month to chat and catch up, and... Of course I'm not in touch with her!

Quote from Barney

Ted: Well, you're gonna need to get in touch with her. She's gonna teach me how to do a rain dance.
Barney: Did you just say a "rain dance"?
Ted: Yes.
Barney: A rain dance.
Ted: Yes.
Barney: A dance to make it rain.
Ted: Yes. [Barney slaps Ted once again. Ted slaps him back. Barney tries to slap Ted again but they start blocking each other's arms.]
Ted: We're finding Penelope!
Barney: No, we are not!
Ted: Yes, we are!
Barney: Ted, you're forcing me to be the voice of reason, and it's not a good look for me!

Quote from Barney

Ted: Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.
Penelope: Why?
Ted: There's this girl...
Penelope: "There's this girl." You know, the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature. I don't think the Great Spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.
Ted: Penelope, this is the girl I love. If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy. Please.
Penelope: This wrong guy, is he a huge jackass?
Ted: Absolutely.
Penelope: Kind of like Barney?
Ted: Kind of.
Barney: Hey.
Penelope: You hit on my mom!
Barney: We weren't exclusive!

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so the three of us headed up to the roof of my building.
Penelope: [to Ted] Okay. Crouch down and bend over a little bit.
Barney: Wow, it took five shots of tequila to get you in that position.
Penelope: I will throw you off this roof.
Barney: There's so much of your mom in you.

Quote from Future Ted

Robin: I'm not dressed, Ted. No. Come up.
Ted: I'm not coming up there, Robin, I'm not. You have to come down here!
[Robin walks away from the window and sees the blue French horn. Robin goes to her front door and opens it. Ted is already standing there]
Robin: I was gonna...
Ted: I know.
[Ted and Robin kiss]
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's how Robin and I ended up together. Turns out, all I had to do was make it rain. As I rode home the next morning, the city looked the same, the people looked the same. It all looked the same. But it wasn't. In just one night, everything had changed.


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