[Marshall's asleep as Ted drives. Ted pokes Marshall to try wake him up]
Ted: Marshall. Marshall.
Marshall: Zitch dog, blue Suburban.
Ted: Damn it!
Marshall: 18-nothing.

Ted: [v.o.] And so Marshall and I thought we were gonna die out there in the middle of nowhere. But funny thing...
[Ted and Marshall are sleeping in the Fiero in front of a motel when a man knocks on the car window:]
Man: Hey. You lovers better just keep on driving.
Marshall: Zitch dog!
Ted: Damn it!
[Ted and Marshall scream as the man's dog barks at the window]

Marshall: I've been through so much in that car. The suicidal cat. Hitchhiking Waldo. The homeless guy who broke in through the window and threw up all over the backseat.
Lily: [coughs]
Robin: Lily, don't. Be strong. Do not go all "Prisoner's Dilemma" on me.
Lily: The car's on its deathbed, Robin. I have to clear my conscience.
Marshall: Guys, what are you talking about?
Lily: Okay. Shortly after we met Robin, she and I were jonesing for Thai food from this one place.

Marshall: The broken windows?
Lily: We had to make it look realistic.
Marshall: Why did you break two of them?
Robin: It looked like fun when she did it. So I wanted to try.

Barney: Come on, Marshall. This is your Fiero. You know the right thing to do here.
Robin: Wow, Barney, why do you love that car so much?
Barney: Love it? Hold on a second. [turns around] Love it? [turns back] I hate it!
Lily: What? Why?
Barney: Why? Why? Why?! ... Why?!

Ted: Hey.
Barney: Hey. Uh, is Marshall around? I have a massage in Queens in half an hour. I need a ride.
Ted: Uh, no, he's at the library all day. Just take the keys.
Barney: Hey! Why don't you drive me? It'll be like a total road trip.
Ted: To Queens?
Barney: Yeah, we'll get, we'll get beef jerky, Triscuits.

Barney: This isn't right. God never meant for us to travel at such breakneck speeds.
Ted: Relax. You're doing great. Ignore the old lady on the Rascal. This isn't a race.
Barney: Dude, a dog.
Ted: Zitch dogs, yes. One-nothing.
Barney: What do I do? Tell me what to do, Ted.
Ted: Step on the brakes. Sometime in the next 20 minutes.
Barney: Which? Which one's the break again?
Ted: The left one.
Barney: Left. Oh, man, left. I'm totally blanking.
Ted: Make the Ls with your hands.
Barney: Oh, we're not going to make it.
[The Proclaimers' "I Would Walk (500 Miles)" plays]
Ted: Why did you just turn on the radio?
Barney: I don't know why I turned on the radio! We're going to die. Tell me what to do, Ted.

[Marshall is in the Fiero to say goodbye. He taps the dashboard and the cassette tape finally ejects.]
Ted: You know what? This Fiero, it's effected all our lives.
Marshall: Affected.
Ted: That's what I said.
Marshall: Just making sure.
Ted: Got us all a lot of places. I mean maybe it's time we return the favor. This Fiero should have made it to 200,000. So, let's get it out that door. And we'll push it the last 0.7 miles. It'd do the same for us.
[Marshall puts the cassette back in and they all start to push.]
Mechanic: Hey, geniuses. The back wheels are on blocks. That car ain't going anywhere.
Marshall: Close enough!
All: Close enough!

Future Ted: []v.o.] And so Marshall said good-bye to his Fiero. And as the car's final gift to us all, the money he got for scrap parts paid our bar tab for the next two nights.
Marshall: Arrivederci, Fiero! You were the freaking giving tree of cars.
Lily: May you rust in peace.
Barney: Rot in hell, devil steed.
Future Ted: And what better friend is there than that?

Marshall: Bro. Have you heard this new song? I just got the cassingle.
Marcus Eriksen: Put it in.
[The Proclaimers' "I Would Walk (500 Miles)" plays]
Marshall: I am never going to get sick of this song. Never, ever, never, never, ever. Yeah!