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‘Arrivederci, Fiero’ Quotes

How I Met Your Mother: Arrivederci, Fiero

217. Arrivederci, Fiero

Aired February 26, 2007

Marshall's car is about to hit 200,000 miles, prompting the gang to reminisce about their memories of the Fiero.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: [v.o.] The next few hours of our drive were classic road trip.
[The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" plays repeatedly:]
Ted: So... this song.
Marshall: Oh, it's the best song in the world. It's the only song I like. Just kidding. Tape's been stuck in the player for, like, two years. Better than nothing, though.
Ted: Maybe.
[Ted and Marshall enthusiastically singing the "ta-da-da-ta" part of the song]
Ted: I am so... sick... of this song.
Marshall: Don't worry. It comes around again.
Ted: What do you mean?
Ted and Marshall singing: [singing] Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles And falls down at your door...

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Quote from Barney

Robin: Wow. Sounds like you had some accident in that car.
Ted: Actually, he had two accidents if you add the fact that he...
Barney: Hummina-hummina-hummina-hummina ummina-hummina-hummina hummina. I shouldn't even be here, thanks to that deathtrap. But fate... Fate gave me a second chance. And helped me realize that our days on this planet are too few to squander. So I decided from that moment on to continue living life to its fullest.
Lily: So you made a life-changing decision to not change your life at all.
Barney: True story.

Quote from Ted

[Ted and Marshall are in his Fiero as The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" plays:]
Ted: This is awesome.
Marshall: I can't believe this moment's finally here. One more mile and my little boy turns 200,000.
Ted: Your baby Fiero's grown into a really old man Fiero. And just like an old man, he leaks fluid, smells stale, makes weird noises out the back.

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, sometimes life forces us to be someone we didn't want to be. When that happens, we often try to hold on to a little piece of who we were. Maybe a tattoo. Or a piece of jewelry. A tiny souvenir that reminds us, "This is who I really am." Marshall's souvenir was not so tiny, but the more he found himself being pushed toward the corporate world and away from his dream of saving the environment, the tighter he held on to that Fiero.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Hey, you want to play Zitch Dog?
Marshall: What?
Ted: Uh, it's a car game. Every time you see a dog, you got to be the first one to say, "Zitch dog." I'm pretty good, so...
Marshall: Zitch dog.
Ted: Well, no, I didn't know we had... we'd started, but... Okay, that's cool. You got the first point.
[later:]
Marshall: Zitch dog.
Ted: Zitch dog. Damn it!
Ted: Are we still playing? 'Cause I wasn't... I wasn't really...
Marshall: 12-nothing.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Pretty sure that my foot is frozen solid.
Ted: Marshall, there's a very real chance that we're gonna be snowed in here for days. If I die first, do whatever you need to survive. Eat my flesh. Slice me open like a tauntaun, whatever.
Marshall: Thanks, Ted. You're a good friend. And if I die first, you just leave my body alone.
Ted: What? I just said you could cut me open and crawl inside me.
Marshall: Yeah, don't do any of that stuff to me. It skeeves me out.
Ted: But... But you're dead, and I'm gonna die if I don't.
Marshall: Wasn't an easy decision.

Quote from Ted

[As Marshall and Ted huddle together in Fiero:]
Marshall: We might die now. I may never see Lily again. I never told anybody this, but... I've known for a long time that I'm gonna marry that girl. If we survive this, someday I'm gonna marry her. I'm sorry about your spectacles.
Ted: That's okay. They were decorative. Hey, Marshall.
Marshall: Yeah?
Ted: Are you still thinking about Lily?
Marshall: Yeah.
Ted: Please stop.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: He said it would be at least 3,000 bucks to make it run again. And even then, there's no guarantee.
Ted: Well, it's a pretty old car.
Robin: Yeah. You can keep prolonging its life, but it's really mostly machine at this point.
Marshall: I know that it's a lot of money, but it's my Fiero, you know? I'm about to graduate and take some sellout corporate law job, and without that Fiero, I'm just another guy in a suit.
Barney: How dare you!

Quote from Lily

Robin: An hour and a half delivery. We can't wait that long.
Lily: I wish we could take the Fiero, but Marshall has this insane no-food rule.
Robin: But Thai food, Lily. Pad Yum Mao. Tom Kai Gah. Thai See Ran.
Lily: Oh! You're just saying random syllables, and it still sounds delicious. Okay. Here's what we'll do. We'll drive over, pick it up, have them double-bag it, very carefully drive it back here with the windows open, and he'll never know.
[later, Lily and Robin are in the Fiero covered in Thai food:]
Lily: Wow, these brakes are really sensitive. Oh, Marshall is gonna kill me! This and the difference between "affect" and "effect" are the only two things he's really serious about.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Lily, it's gonna be fine.
Lily: No, it's not. Marshall's gonna freak. Oh, God, oh, God. What are we gonna do? Oh, God, oh...!
Robin: Shut up! Now, listen to me. The clock is ticking. Okay, first thing, we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. Next, what we need to take care of are the really messy parts: the pools that have collected. We got to soak that soup up. Last is the smell. We got to cover up that Tom Kah Gai. You mentioned cigars.
Lily: There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving them.
Robin: Hand me those chopsticks.
[later, Robin and Lily are casually smoking cigars in the spotless Fiero:]
Robin: Hey, how about some tunes? Oh, great song.
Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all.
Robin: Yeah. This was a terrible idea.
Lily: Now it just smells like a homeless guy threw up in here.

Quote from Barney

Ted: Wait. You know how to drive, right?
Barney: What, of course I know how to drive. I love driving. Hitting the road. Cruising the lanes. And braking. Honking. Love it. Except for lady drivers. Don't get me started on lady drivers.
Ted: Which pedal's the gas?
Barney: Trick question.
Ted: No, it's not.
Barney: Yes, it is.
Ted: No, it's not.
Barney: Middle, left, right? I never learned how to drive! I grew up in the city. I never had a chance.
Ted: Well, guess what? You're getting your chance. Because I'm going to teach you. Barney Stinson, buckle up.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Guys. This Fiero's meant a lot to all of us. Friendships were made. Adventures had. Horrors faced. That's why we have to get rid of it.
Barney: Yes!
Ted and Robin: What?
Marshall: It's lived a great life and it deserves to die with dignity.
Ted: But 200,000...
Marshall: But that's life. You know? You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. I'm not helping the environment. Ted's not a philosopher. Lily's not not a world-famous artist. Barney's never driven more than ten miles an hour. Robin, I'm sure, has also experience disappointment in her life. Maybe? And my Fiero's not a Fiero that went 200,000 miles. It's okay. You know? Those are old dreams. We'll get a new car and we'll fill that one up with new memories. And that'll be the car we had when we were first married. When we owned our first house. Maybe even the first car our four kids remember.


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