Tim: All I know is every pin you knocked down killed another one of my dreams.
Jill: You are being ridiculous. Bud is not gonna hold this against you.
Tim: Didn't you notice after the fifth frame, the man hardly said a word?
Jill: So he was a little quiet.
Tim: Well, a quiet Bud is a mad Bud. And a mad Bud is a bad Bud. The mood he was in, it was impossible for me to talk about my plans for Binford.
Jill: You actually think I jeopardized your entire future by bowling well?
Tim: If the rented shoe fits...

Wilson: Oh, Tim. Jill told me about bowling with Bud.
Tim: What did she say?
Wilson: Well, she said it was quite a brouhaha.
Tim: Well, there were no brews and very few ha-ha's, I'll tell you that. Did she also mention that she thought I was treating her like my appendix?
Wilson: Well, yes, she did. I believe the word she used was "appendage."
Tim: When she's in a bad mood, it's no time to correct her English, I'll tell you that.

Al: And a little bit of toothpaste will take that rust right off your counter top.
Tim: And don't forget to floss. All right, now, let's say you got paint all over your hands and you're out of solvent. What does a resourceful tool man do?
Al: Get some French fries.
Tim: Which is usually Al's answer for just about everything. But, in this case, my bloated buddy is correct. The grease in the fries acts as a solvent. It'll take paint right off your hands.
Al: That's right. And since your fingers are already in the fries, you can snack on the ones that aren't covered in semi-gloss.

Tim: Al, what's the next tip from the resourceful Tool Man?
Al: All right. Well, say you want to polish up some brass and you're out of cleaner. Well, the resourceful Tool Man will use...
Both: Ketchup.
Tim: In the tomatoes is vitamin C. It'll take tarnish off brass.
Al: Actually, it's the vinegar.
Tim: I believe it's the vitamin C.
Al: I believe it's the vinegar.
Tim: I believe it's my show.
Al: Could be the vitamin C.
Tim: Thank you, Al. We'll have more tips right after these few messages from Binford Tools.

Tim: Hey, tell you what. Let's do something fun tonight. Um... You pick. Anything you want to do.
Jill: Well, we could go upstairs, get the lights down low...
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Jill: Get in bed.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Jill: And spend the next three hours...
Tim: Eh! Considering where I got hit with that bowling ball, that's a little optimistic.
Jill: Actually, I was thinking about listening to the tape of that lecture I missed.
Tim: That might hurt more than that bowling ball.

Tim: Tonight, if you don't mind, let's not talk about your psychology class. I want to make sure Bud's having a good time.
Jill: You're gonna tell me what I can and cannot say to the man?
Tim: Just a suggestion, you know? I want to make sure that he's in a good mood to listen to my ideas, all right?
Jill: Well, I don't know. If I knew you were gonna treat me this way, maybe I shouldn't have come.
Tim: I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just a little nervous about tonight. I want everything to go well. And hey, I need you here. I want you here. I mean, the empire wouldn't be an empire without an empress. With you by my side... [hugs Jill]
Bud: Hey, Tim!
[Jill falls onto Tim's chair after he rushes to greet Bud]

Jill: Yes! Yes! Three strikes in a row! I can't believe it! How far are we ahead now?
Bud: You're up by ten. Do you have to ask after every frame?
Jill: Yes, I do.

Jill: I'm hungry. Can we order some food?
Tim: Yeah.
Bud: Oh, no, no. I don't allow food on the lanes. Somebody always spills something.
Jill: You don't allow it?
Tim: We understand. We understand. Of course we understand. And you're watching your weight anyway, honey. It's okay.
Jill: Excuse me? Did you say something about my weight?
Tim: I said, "Let's wait. And we'll eat later."
Jill: I'm gonna go get myself a big old tub of popcorn with lots of extra butter.

Tim: What's the matter with him?
Jean: You'll have to excuse Bud. He's... He's very competitive.
Tim: Well, that's how guys like us are.
Jean: Well, yeah. But when Bud loses, he holds a grudge.
Tim: What do you mean?
Jean: Well, last year the vice president of his textile company out-bowled him. Bud had him transferred him to the manufacturing division.
Tim: So?
Jean: In Pakistan.

Brad: Well, what did you think of Jessica?
Randy: Well, I'll let you know when Angela actually lets her talk.
Brad: Yeah, but you gotta admit she's pretty fine.
Randy: You know, Brad, when I go out with a girl, I like to know she can actually finish a sentence.
Brad: Like my woman.
Randy: Yeah, just like that.