Jill: Would you let it go already? Nobody is gonna ship you off to Pakistan! Except maybe me.

Tim: Well, I've been your little windup husband whenever you've wanted me to. Went to the professor's house for dinner. Remember that?
Jill: Yeah, and you complained the whole night.
Tim: I did whatever you wanted me to do.
Jill: I only asked you to pass the onion dip!
Tim: Well, you got it, didn't you?

[Tim walks up behind Jill and holds out a bouquet of flowers]
Jill: No.
Tim: Don't you wanna at least hear what I have to say?
Jill: No.
Tim: The only reason I came...
Jill: No.
Tim: I'll take that as a "no." Hey, Mark. Just 'cause I love you.
Mark: No.

Tim: I'm sorry about what happened in the bowling alley. I acted like an idiot.
Jill: Tim, it's not just about last night. This kind of stuff has been happening ever since you went to work for Bud.
Tim: It has?
Jill: Yeah. Remember the weekend that we were gonna have together, just the two of us?
Tim: It ended up being the three of us, didn't it?
Jill: Exactly. I'm just afraid that whenever Bud says, "Jump," you'll say, "How high?" And I'm gonna be the one you land on.
Tim: Well, I'll try not to land on you.
Jill: Tim, I don't want you to forget about your ambition. I really don't. I just don't want you to forget about me.
Tim: I don't want to do that. Well, if my ambition gets in the way, just, um... like, make sure that I know about it.
Jill: OK. I'm ready for those flowers now.

Jill: Oh, look at this. We got our nachos, pizza and chili fries.
Jean: Yeah! Let's put on some weight.
Jill: Now, this is the way bowling should be - a nice, relaxed game, no husbands, lots of food.