Bud: Hey! Hey! Great show, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, boss.
Bud: Yeah, although try telling that to the guy you just sent to the emergency room.
Tim: Oh, boy. Hey, Dave! Use my name down there - you'll get the Tim Taylor suite.
Al: Put some pressure on that.
Tim: Use some salve and ointments on that.

Bud: You know, Tim, it occurred to me that you and I have never gone out socially.
Tim: Bud, if you're asking me out on a date, I'll need more time. I gotta get my hair done or something.
Bud: Would you and Jill like to go bowling and have dinner with me and my wife tonight? And afterwards we can grab some dinner.
Tim: It sounds like it's right up my alley.
Bud: Yeah, all right. OK. Good deal.
Al: You know, Ilene and I love to bowl. And, you know, we're free tonight.
Bud: You're still free tonight.

Brad: You don't have a date tonight, right?
Randy: Why do you always assume I have no life?
Brad: Well, do you have plans?
Randy: Totally free. What's up?
Brad: Well, Angela wants you to go out with her younger sister.
Angela: You'd really like her. Her name's Jessica. And she thinks you're, like, really, really cute, and she's, like, really, really cute. Even though she takes after my dad's side of the family, which is, like, a total drag for her because they're all alcoholics and drink themselves into an early grave.
Randy: Is she anything like you?
Angela: Oh, yeah. People say we're really, like, alike.
Brad: Randy, it's your lucky day.
Angela: She'll be so disappointed if you don't go out with her, so I just wish you'd, like, think about it, 'cause it would really mean a lot to her, and would totally mean a lot to me...
Randy: OK, OK! I'll, like, totally think about it.

Tim: Come on, honey. When an important guy like Bud asks you to socialize, you do it because it's good for your career.
Jill: Well, what about my lecture?
Tim: Can't you find somebody to videotape it? I mean, how many times have I asked you to do something like this?
Jill: If I do this for you, what do I get out of it?
Tim: Well, the satisfaction of knowing you're on the ground floor of the beginning of the Tim Taylor empire. [off Jill's look] How about a watch?

Jill: Do you ever wonder how many feet have been in a pair of rented bowling shoes?
Tim: No. But my guess would be an even number.

Jean: I feel like I know you already from watching Tool Time.
Bud: Yeah, Jean's a big fan of the show.
Tim: Really?
Jean: Oh, yeah. I just love the clever way you pretend to be so inept.
Jill: It's a gift.

Bud: So, how are the psychology classes going, Jill?
Tim: Well, I'd tell you, but I don't want to ruin your evening.
Bud: I understand. School is tough. When I went back to get my degree, I had to go at night because I was working full-time.
Jill: Really?
Bud: Yeah. I never thought I'd make it, but here I am.
Tim: Yeah. Bowling with the Tool Man.
Bud: That's the dream that kept me going.

Tim: Can I talk to you about your bowling?
Jill: I am bowling the best game of my life. Isn't it great?
Tim: It is. Can you stop?
Jill: What?
Tim: Well, apparently, Bud is a bad loser. He holds a grudge.
Jill: So, you want me to throw the best game of my life because Bud is a sore loser?
Tim: You used to do it with the boys when you played go fish.
Jill: When they were five!

Jean: Go, honey.
Bud: Hey, look at that! Yeah! All right!
Tim: Strike!
Bud: Wait a minute. Aren't you rooting for the wrong team?
Tim: You're not Jill. That's Jill. Must be the lighting. Jill, remember that little tip I gave you about bowling correctly?
Jill: I'm not interested in your tips.
Tim: Ripped your pants. [Jill hits Tim in the crotch as she swings her bowling ball back] Oh!

Randy: So, Jessica, did you like the pizza?
Jessica: Well, l...
Angela: She totally loves pizza. That's, like, all she eats. Remember that one time we were in that Chinese restaurant, Chang Wu's?
Jessica: Oh, yeah...
Angela: She asked Mr. Wu, "Do you have pizza?" He stared at her like she was totally crazy. It was, like, so embarrassing. She should have just had a hamburger like I did.
Randy: Wait a second. You got a hamburger at a Chinese restaurant?
Brad: Yeah, I've never heard of that. I always get the burrito.