Jill: Tim, what is the matter with you? Don't you trust me?
Tim: No, it's not trust. I'm just... I'm just not sure a man would give up a Saturday for a woman unless he wanted something in return.
Jill: Tim, he's just a good guy. He's helping me out.
Tim: Don't I recall you telling me that he was this big, strapping, cute, big hunk kinda guy?
Jill: You know I never said that.
Tim: Is he kinda cute?
Jill: I don't know. Some people would say so.
Tim: Cuter than me?
Jill: Some people would say so.

Randy: How does this thing work, Dad?
Tim: Well, use your imagination, if you will. When you look up there, there are satellites orbiting the planet. Sucking up information from every corner of the globe and spitting it back down here in this parabolic dish. You know, this is very dangerous, though, satellite dishes, 'cause they have a pulse of their own... And if you don't watch out, they can suck you into them. [all yelling]

Rondall: Your husband's putting up a satellite dish?
Tim: Yeah, this afternoon.
Rondall: I hope you have some help.
Tim: [to himself] Don't need any help, Bondo. [to Rondall] No, I'm gonna do it all by myself.
Jill: Tim, maybe you should call Al, 'cause, you know, he really knows about all that stuff.
Tim: Al is my assistant. He assists me.

Rondall: Yeah, I think you should listen to Jill. You know, when I had mine put in, I had a couple of guys from Global View Satellites install it.
Tim: Did ya? That must have cost you a pretty penny, huh?
Rondall: Well, you know, it was worth it when you consider that the installation requires a precise calculation of the declination angle of the dish in relation to the equator.
Tim: Yeah.
Rondall: The slightest deviation and the dish is useless. Of course, you know that.
Tim: It goes without saying.

Wilson: Tim, I got the feeling you got something more on your mind than television.
Tim: Eh, not really, Wilson. It's just Jill is working on her resume with this guy, a know-it-all type. He's trying to impress her.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That worries you?
Tim: Well, I'm not jealous. I'm the least jealous guy on earth, really.
Wilson: Curious thing about jealousy. Usually it stems from insecurity.
Tim: There's no insecurity here, I can tell you that. However much I'm not jealous. I'm twice as much not insecure.
Wilson: Well, you should be secure, Tim. You've got what every man dreams of.
Tim: Yeah, a satellite dish.
Wilson: No, Tim. Three strapping boys, a nice home, a loving wife.
Tim: You're so right, you know. Jill and I share so many great things. Memories, great food - we love eating. You know - laughter. Nobody makes her laugh like I do. [Jill laughs in the living room with Rondall] [Tim grunts]

Mark: Mommy, look. I got a splinter.
Jill: Oh, honey. Let's get the tweezers and we'll get that out. [to Rondall] Will you excuse me? Just a minute. [to Mark] Honey, I hope you realize I'm gonna have to use the needle.
Mark: [screams] No.

Tim: So, Jill's told me a lot about you, Ron.
Rondall: Rondall.
Rondall: Rondall. It's Ron... dall.
Tim: Great name.
Rondall: You know, you look familiar.
Tim: Well, you've probably seen me on TV. I got my own home improvement show. Jill told you about it.
Rondall: No, she didn't mention it. Oh, no, no. Right, right. Wait a minute, of course. That's why you look familiar. You got that little tool show on the cable.
Tim: Well, you know, we don't look at it as little because we pick up a lot of cities. We just got Alpena.
Rondall: Yeah? Really? Both sets? [laughs] Sorry. Just kidding you there, pal.
Tim: That's pretty funny, Rondall.

Tim: What's so funny?
Jill: Well, okay. There's a woman in our class that was always asking questions... [Tim laughs] No, honey, that's not the funny part. [Tim grunts] So, anyway, one day Rondall asked if there are any questions. And the woman stands up and forgets what she's gonna say. Oh, it's really... I told you it's not funny.
Tim: I guess you had to be there. I got to make some measurements for this cable. Just pretend like I'm not here.
Jill: [to Rondall] Listen, about this interview, I was gonna wear this blue suit with a plain white blouse. Is that just too blah?
Rondall: No, I like white. It's simple but it's classic. It shows you're not a slave to trends. [Tim laughs]
Jill: Yes, what was that, Tim?
Tim: Oh, nothing. I was thinking about that joke. "She didn't know what to say." It just took me a while.

Jill: Tim, what was this?
Tim: I was shoveling manure. [Jill laughs] You're not buying this crock? I love this stuff. Shoulder pads show strength and motion. And colors just brighten your life.
Jill: I know, I know. It sounds really stupid. But the guy is a professional, he knows what he's doing. Now, what is the matter with you?
Tim: What's the matter with me is I'm seeing a guy in my house hitting on my wife.
Jill: What?
Tim: Come on, don't be so naive. You see what's happening here?
Jill: No.
Tim: Guy's over here on Saturday. Drinking coffee, making you laugh.
Jill: Oh, God. You're right. How could I have missed something so obvious? He's obviously just a great big walking hormone.
Tim: You laugh. You make jokes. I can smell testosterone right here. Oh, and just a wee bit of estrogen thrown in.

Tim: Look at this. Look.
Jill: Tim, get out of there. That is his personal property.
Tim: Look at this. Breath mints, cigarettes. Now I've got it. This is before. This is after.
Jill: You know, there may be a very good reason for him to have breath mints. Rondall may just have bad breath.
Rondall: Actually, I don't.
Jill: Oh, Rondall. I'm sorry. It's just, you know, sometimes when people smoke, they have bad breath... Would you excuse me for a minute, please? I want to talk to Tim.