Jill: [sighs] God, I hate moving. Do you know how many times I moved when I was a kid?
Tim: Eight.
Jill: Eight moves. Every time I had to leave my friends, my heart would just break.
Tim: Here we go.
Jill: I'd cry for days and days. Go on an uncontrollable downward spiral.
Tim: Jill, how would you like to sit in the back with the packing crates and the Styrofoam packing material?
Jill: Excuse me, I'm just expressing my feelings. I know how sick you are of hearing them.
Tim: Oh, no, you don't.

Tim: [carrying a table with Brad] Watch it, watch it, watch it.
Brad: OK, Dad.
Marty: Hey, Tim, look at this. It's Dad's plans from when he remodeled the house.
Tim: [leaves Brad with the table] You gotta be kiddin'! These have gotta be about 30 years old.
Brad: [straining] Dad.
Tim: Careful with that, it's an antique.
Brad: Randy.
Randy: Lift with your legs.

[Tim is sitting on top of the banister as the doorbell rings]
Jill: [o.s.] Tim, would you get that?
[Tim slides down the banister and hits his crotch on the newel]
Tim: Ah! [high-pitched] I'll get it. [opens door] [high-pitched] Hello.
Lisa: Oh, are... are you OK?
Tim: [high-pitched] I'm fine, I'm fine. [clears throat] I just took a short little trip down memory lane.

Marty: Why are you taking the toilet?
Jeff: Because I need a new one. No sense spending good money when I can have this one for free.
Marty: This isn't just a toilet, you know. It's... an heirloom. This toilet is full of memories.
Jeff: Yeah, for me too. Remember the night of my bachelor party? Ooh, some major hurling in there.
Marty: Hey, how about when Dad brought back that bag of smoked chub from the Indian reservation? [all laugh]
Tim: That was a bad week.

Lucille: OK, boys, you just put that toilet right back. It belongs to the new owners.
Tim: Ah... They'll just probably throw it out like the rest of the stuff.
Jeff: What?
Tim: The new owners, they're tearing out everything. Floor, the mantel. They're taking out the stairway.
Jeff: How are they gonna get to the second floor?
Marty: Hey, this is serious! They can't do that to us. This is the house where we grew up.
Tim: The house where I learned you can put a lawn mower engine on a tricycle.
Jeff: This is the house where I lost my hair.

Mark: Whoa! Is this Dad and his hot rod?
Jill: [laughs] Yeah, that's Dad. During his hippie days. His motto was "Peace, Love and Valvoline." [Tim enters]
Mark: Peace.
Tim: Valvoline.

Jill: Oh, look at this cute little plane. Did you make this?
Tim: That's a Spitfire, honey. I glued that when I was 11 years old. I won first prize at a hobby show.
Jill: [lifts the plane] For the plane or the shelf?

Tim: Let me ask you a question. You've always wanted a vacation home?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: How would you feel about buying this and making it our getaway home?
Jill: You're suggesting that we come up here for romantic weekends and sleep in your mother's bedroom?
Tim: Well, it's not like she's gonna be here.
Jill: And neither are we.

Jill: It's gotta be tough. You know, I used to fall apart every time I left a house I barely lived in, but this house has been a part of your life for so long.
Tim: Yes, it has. Dad put his heart and soul in this place. Everything I loved about him is here.
Jill: Tim... this house is really beautiful, but everything you loved about him is something you carry with you, don't you think? I mean, all your memories about him and what he taught you about cars and how to work with tools. How to be a great dad. I mean, who showed you how to shoot those peas right out of your nose?
Tim: Mom. Dad taught us how to use six parts of our body as a musical instrument.
Jill: Seven.
Tim: [laughs] Oh, boy. Ah, you're probably right. No matter what these people do, they can't take the memory of him from me.
Jill: Yeah. Your dad must have been a great guy. I wish I had met him.
Tim: He was a great guy. He would have loved you, loved everything about you.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: Except maybe that turkey tetrazzini.

Lucille: You know, I never realized that leaving this house would be so tough on you.
Tim: Neither did l. I'm just surprised how well you're doing.
Lucille: [laughs] How well I'm doing?
Tim: Yeah.
Lucille: Oh, honey, if you realized how many years I've spent thinking about this day and crying about it a lot.
Tim: I'm sorry. You know, I don't mean to make you feel bad about this.
Lucille: Tim, I just love this house.
Tim: Yeah.
Lucille: Everywhere I look there's just a wonderful memory. You know, I'll never forget all the Christmases we've had here. The whole family gathered around the table and the fire burning in the fireplace.
Tim: The turkey burning in the oven.