Tim: Maureen, it was good to see you here, you know. Why don't you give her some Tool Time hats?
Al: Hats.
Tim: See you later.
Maureen Binford: Oh, no, no, no... I'm gonna be here a lot. Did I forget to mention? [singsong] Producer!
Tim: Are you serious? Is this your dad's way of telling me I'm not doing my job?
Maureen Binford: Oh, no. He thinks you're doing a great job. And so do I.
Tim: I'm missing something here, you know. We don't need a producer. I run this show.
Maureen Binford: Well, that was before. But now Daddy made me producer. And so now I'll be running the show.
Al: Well, there's some extra offices right down...
Tim: Shut up, Al! I don't want to give you the impression I don't appreciate you coming down, because I really do. But Tool Time really runs pretty smoothly the way it is now. So if you came down here and you had nothing to do, we'd have no reason to have Al.

Brad: Come on, guys. We need to find those Hoop-Dee-Hos. Mark, check the dryer. Randy, the bookshelf.
Randy: No, you doof. That's where she hid them the last time.
Brad: Well, then, check the TV cabinet.
Jill: Hey, come on. Don't wreck the house. [on the phone] Yes, I think I could do that. Uh-huh.
Mark: All I found in the dryer was some lint.

Jill: Yeah, I start tomorrow!
Randy: [quietly] All right, she's not gonna be home after school. Freedom.
Brad: Yes!
Jill: I heard that.
Randy: Huh?
Jill: I'm only gonna be gone a week, and I will know everything you do, everywhere you go and everything you think.

Jill: Mark, isn't it exciting? Mommy's gonna go work at a magazine.
Mark: Who's gonna take care of us?
Jill: Honey, Mommy and Daddy are still gonna take care of you.
Mark: Why do you have to go to work?
Jill: Because I think it'll be fun.
Mark: Don't you have fun at home?
Jill: Sure I do. But, you know, sometimes you gotta go outside the house and have a different kind of fun. You know, like, um, what you get to do when you go to school.
Mark: I have fun at recess.
Jill: Right. Mommy getting out of the house and going to work is exactly like recess.
Brad: [o.s.] Mark, get up here! We need you to crawl into the attic!
Mark: OK!
Jill: There are no Hoop-Dee-Hos in the attic!

Jill: It's only a temporary thing, you know. I'm just gonna work for a week. But I have to be there tomorrow at 8:30.
Tim: Tomorrow?
Jill: Yeah, yeah. So I need you to get the boys off to school.
Tim: I gotta be at the project house first thing in the morning.
Jill: Well, I have to be at the office. I have to be at the office.
Tim: Can't you tell them you're gonna be late?
Jill: No, no way. I can't do that. It's my first day of work.
Tim: Honey, if you show up whenever they want, they'll start taking advantage of you.

Jill: Listen, Tim, I have a million things that I have to do, you know.
Tim: Jill, you don't understand.
Jill: I have to go to the dry cleaners... and get my jacket.
Tim: Hold it a minute. Jill...
Jill: Then I have to go to the grocery store...
Tim: Binford ran off with page 142.
Jill: Oh, and I gotta go by Karen's and get a briefcase 'cause I don't have one... and I want to look professional.
Tim: Toodles is taking over Tool Time.
Jill: You have to cook dinner tonight.
Jill: I'm really sorry. But there's a chicken in there. It's only gonna take an hour and a half.
Tim: Toodles.
Jill: You got the potatoes and the vegetables. Oh, oh, I'm gonna make the boys' school lunches tonight before I go to bed. I'll see you later. Bye-bye. [exits]
Tim: Bye, hon. It's been the worst day of my life. Thanks for listening.

Maureen Binford: Hey, Tim. Hi.
Tim: Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. What's with the French doors? I thought we decided there'd be no nook. Nook-free. No nook. Nookless.
Maureen Binford: All right. We'll talk about it later.
Tim: No, Maureen. I think I wanna talk about it right now. This is my project house, my show and my crew.

Maureen Binford: All right, everybody, let's get started. I need you to bring that camera right over here, and I want to get a nice shot of the front porch.
Tim: Leave the camera right where it is. We're gonna do this shot with me on the roof.
Maureen Binford: Tim, Tim, Tim, not a good idea.
Tim: Mo, let's get something straight here. This is Tool Time. It's a man's show, dangerous, kind of devil-may-care. We'll do the shot with me up on the roof.
Maureen Binford: OK. The roof is unsafe.
Tim: Now you're an expert on roofs, Maureen?
Maureen Binford: Well, no, not really, but I've been inside, and I do know that those one-by-fours are too far apart.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Maureen Binford: Take a look at that sheathing. There's rot everywhere.
Tim: Maureen, I think I can tell the difference between a safe and an unsafe roof. Al, you following me up here?
Al: I don't think so, Tim.

Jill: Now, wait a minute. What are you talking about?
Tim: I told you this yesterday. Binford went and got married to a model and left the whole Tool Time thing in charge of his daughter Maureen. So, she's got... Mm. She's got everybody working against me - Al, the crew. This woman's trying to take over Tool Time.
Jill: Well, she can't do that. I mean, you spent the last three years making Tool Time a success.
Tim: That's right.
Jill: You're the only reason anybody watches that show.
Tim: That's right.

Tim: You know, I got a better idea.
Jill: What?
Tim: I think I can outsmart her. Use my brain.
Jill: Aw, come on. Let me beat her up.