Tim Quote #496
Quote from Tim in May the Best Man Win
Jill: Listen, Tim, I have a million things that I have to do, you know.
Tim: Jill, you don't understand.
Jill: I have to go to the dry cleaners... and get my jacket.
Tim: Hold it a minute. Jill...
Jill: Then I have to go to the grocery store...
Tim: Binford ran off with page 142.
Jill: Oh, and I gotta go by Karen's and get a briefcase 'cause I don't have one... and I want to look professional.
Tim: Toodles is taking over Tool Time.
Jill: You have to cook dinner tonight.
Jill: I'm really sorry. But there's a chicken in there. It's only gonna take an hour and a half.
Tim: Toodles.
Jill: You got the potatoes and the vegetables. Oh, oh, I'm gonna make the boys' school lunches tonight before I go to bed. I'll see you later. Bye-bye. [exits]
Tim: Bye, hon. It's been the worst day of my life. Thanks for listening.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘May the Best Man Win’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Come here. I'm gonna try to work this out, OK? Let's say you got this business. Uh, bubblegum factories. Somebody comes in and tries...
Mark: Do I have cherry bubblegum?
Tim: Oh, yeah, yeah. Probably racks of the best they have. Of course, a lot of that cherry bubblegum. Anyway, so...
Mark: Do I have baseball cards?
Tim: Yeah, you got baseball cards. You've got a little assistant with a little beard. Whatever you want. You got everything. Anyway, so... you got this bubblegum factory - cherry bubblegum and the baseball stuff - and this girl comes in, tries to run things. You know, you've been running it for quite a while and made a big success out of it. But this little red-headed little... you know, little nice little girl, she comes in and takes over. What do you do?
Mark: I tell Mommy.
Tim: But Mommy's not home, is she? [Mark shakes his head] And so the girl takes over your bubblegum factory. You know, it's just the way life is, Mark.
Quote from Jill
Jill: This is so weird, you know. I mean, I get to go to work and everything, but I don't get to be here when you kids get home from school. I keep thinking of that first day that I walked you to kindergarten, Brad. You know, you went up those stairs and turned around waved your little chubby hand and said, [feigns crying] "B'bye, Mommy."
Randy: "B'bye, Mommy."
Jill: Oh, come on. Stop, stop.
Quote from Tim
Brad: Dad, how come you didn't make your famous chocolate-chip pancakes?
Tim: Because I didn't have time to make 'em. Just eat your cereal, will ya?
Randy: Well, Mom usually slices up bananas. Why don't you?
Tim: Because I don't love you as much as Mom does.