Tim: I thought you hated your high school.
Jill: I loved this high school. I hated Joanie Graham.
Tim: Well, Joanie the phony could be there. You wanna risk it?
Jill: I don't care if she is there. She kept me away from my high-school prom. She's not gonna keep me away from my reunion. You know what? I hope that she comes. I hope she comes and brings whatever-his-name-was.
Tim: Oh, yeah. The guy that dumped you for her. Jack. Jack.
Jill: I know his name was Jack. You think I forgot his name was Jack? Practically ruined my whole senior year. Everybody in the school knew that my best friend was seeing my boyfriend, except me.
Tim: So you want to fly to DC to be mocked and humiliated? I could do that right here.

Leslie: Jill? Jill Patterson, give me an "A,"
Jill & Leslie: ...give me a "D," give me an "A, M, S." Adams! Adams! You're the best!
Leslie: Yes!
Tim: [to the hotel clerk] It's gonna be... [deep voice] a very long weekend.

Leslie: It is so good to see you, Jill.
Jill: Oh, you too. I have absolutely no idea who you are.
Leslie: Leslie Morrison. We were co-captains of the cheerleading squad.
Jill: Leslie, you look fabulous! Not that you didn't look fabulous before, but you just look even more fabulous now.
Leslie: It's because of my nose. I got a new one.
Jill: Oh, it's a beauty! Oh, oh. Tim, this is Leslie Morrison. This is my husband Tim.
Tim: Nose to meet you. I mean... Nice honker.

Jill: Oh, no. She's here.
Tim: Who?
Jill: Joanie Graham, the boyfriend stealer.
Tim: What are you doing?
Jill: I don't want her to see me.
Tim: Well, honey... I thought you didn't care.
Jill: I didn't think I did, until I saw her little weasely face. Now I just want to get out of here and go home.
Tim: All right. I'll call a cab, get the bags.
Jill: Tim! I came all this way to see my friends. Are you just gonna let me leave?
Tim: That's what you just asked me to do.
Jill: Well, what I want you to do is be supportive.
Tim: How do you want me to do that?
Jill: Just shut up!

Jill: They just told us that we have to check in at the reunion committee. Maybe we'll see you around a little bit later.
Joanie: OK. Well, I hope so, 'cause I'd really love to sit and talk with you about some things.
Jill: Oh, hey, hey. Not necessary. It's water under the bridge. I mean, who comes to a reunion to talk about the past?
Joanie: Well, Jill... I mean, we did go through a lot together.
Jill: Well, yeah, but... that was, like, 20 years ago, you know? I mean, I don't even remember the name of the guy that came between us.
Tim: Jack. It was Jack.

Jill: So you think that I should just forgive and forget?
Tim: Yes. Forgive and forget. It was 20 years ago. The way I look at it, Joanie did you a big favor.
Jill: How's that?
Tim: Well, she married Jack, who's probably fat and bald, and you ended up marrying the manliest man in Michigan.
Jill: That's true.
Tim: Yeah. We'll have a good time.
Jill: Jack.
Jack: Jill!
Tim: went up the hill.

Jack: You look great!
Jill: So do you. Really great. Oh, Jack, this is my husband, um...
Tim: Tim.

Al: Randy, it's time for your antibiotics. Randy? Randy! Randy, what are you doing?
Randy: Al, I've been stuck in the house for five days.
Al: I know, but your bronchitis is gonna flare up. Let's go inside. Come on. Let's go. Randy!
Randy: Al, what happened to you? You used to be so cool. Now you're like Mom with a beard.

Joanie: Do you have any kids?
Jill: Yeah, we have three boys.
Joanie: Three... Oh, my... Do you have pictures? I would love to see them.
Jill: OK. Um... Let's see. There.
Joanie: Oh, they're so cute! Look at them! They're darling! Who's the guy behind the fence? You can't see his face.
Jill: Oh, that's Wilson. That's our neighbor.

Jill: Gosh. They seem so grown-up.
Joanie: Yeah, uh... Katie is 16 and Jack Junior... is 20.
Jill: 20?
Joanie: Yeah. Uh... when we graduated... Uh...
Jill: What?
Joanie: I was two months pregnant.
Jill: I... I don't know what to say. I just can't believe that I never heard about that.
Joanie: Jill, nobody ever heard about that. We never meant for it to happen that way. Jack and I fell in love and I never knew how to tell you.
Jill: Well, yeah. I mean, I can see how it would have been hard to call me and say, "Guess what. I'm in love with your boyfriend and I'm having his baby."
Joanie: I never could find that appropriate greeting card.