Jill: Wilson?
Wilson: Well, hi-ho, good neighbor.
Jill: Are you trying to get pneumonia or rehearsing for a production of No, No, Nanette?
Wilson: No, no, no, Jill. Have you heard of the Polar Bear Club?
Jill: Yeah. It's that group of maniacs that swim in the middle of winter.
Wilson: Well, say hello to the head maniac. Boy, this can be an invigorating hobby.

Tim: You know, Bowersox, up in space, you may be commander, but down here, I am mission control. You guys are good at getting out of tight situations. Try this.
[After Tim presses a button, the modular interview set starts to close and recede into the wall. The astronauts make a run for it, but Ken Bowersox is trapped. He ducks down and disappears into the wall with the interview set.]
Tim: We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.

Tim: Well, you enjoyed the Tool Time episodes?
Fred Leslie: We watched them every night. It really helped us unwind after a hard day in space.
Tim: Let's take a look at that.
[video of the astronauts asleep in front of a monitor showing Tool Time in the International Space Station]
Tim: Ah, the Porta-Potti episode.
Ken Bowersox: We never slept better, Tim.

Al: Whoa. That must be Bud's new truck. I told you he was getting one. Hi, Mr. Harper. So, what brings you out on location?
Bud: Well, what brings me out here is I'm your boss and I sign your paycheck.
Al: And what lovely penmanship you have, sir.
Tim: Al, nobody likes a suck-up.
Bud: Oh, by the way, Tim, thanks for the custom gearshift knob you got me for my truck.
Tim: It's OK, boss.

Tim: All right, Al. Once we go on the air, I'll go up and nail that facia board. You give the tips on winter painting, all right?
Al: Be careful, Tim. You don't want to drop anything on Bud's new truck.
Tim: Well, why don't you just move it? Heidi, I'll need some masking tape.
Heidi: Sure. Here you go.
Tim: Thanks.
Al: Hey, Tim. This new gearshift knob you have doesn't have any numbers or letters on it. Which one is reverse?
Tim: Uh, over and down. [engine revs] No, up, up and over that... My left. Your left would be my... my... my left. Yeah.
[As Al drives the truck forward, Tim gets unsteady and drops the bucket of paint on Bud's car. As Tim falls, he lands in the cargo area of Bud's truck. Al quickly reverses the truck and gets out to check on Tim]
Al: Tim! Are you all right?
Tim: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The truck broke my fall.
Al: Oh, no, look at this truck! Do you think we can clean the paint off before Bud sees it?
Bud: Oh, no!

Mark: Dad and I are finished building our planes.
Jill: Oh, wow. Mark, your Spitfire looks great.
Tim: How about mine?
Jill: I think you should spit on it and set it on fire.

Jill: You know, I really need to get this piano tuned.
Mrs. Kluzewski: I don't think it's the piano. You obviously haven't been practicing.
Jill: Oh, yes, I have.
Mrs. Kluzewski: 30 minutes a day?
Jill: Yes.
Mrs. Kluzewski: Every day?
Jill: Every day almost.
Randy: Which means once a week.
Brad: And when she is playing, she's usually talking on the phone.
Randy: Complaining how annoying her teacher is.
Mrs. Kluzewski: Really?
Jill: No, no. Not you. That's my psychology teacher.
Mrs. Kluzewski: Ah.
Jill: Thanks a lot, boys. You've been a big help.
Brad: Hey, anytime.

Mrs. Kluzewski: Jill, why do you want to play the piano?
Jill: Well, um... When I was a child, everybody said that I showed a lot of promise.
Mrs. Kluzewski: Apparently, that promise has been broken.
Jill: Are you saying I should give up?
Mrs. Kluzewski: No. I'm saying that if you want to learn to play, you have to commit to it and focus.
Jill: I am focused. I'm focused! I just... I have a very hectic schedule. You know, I have three boys and, and my husband is insane, and I go to school. I had tons of homework this week...
Mrs. Kluzewski: Can it! I've been teaching for 50 years. I've heard every excuse in the book. "I broke a nail." "Dog ate my music." "Had to go fight in World War ll."
Jill: Fighting for your country is not a good excuse?
Mrs. Kluzewski: Not for me. Jill, I have no tolerance for slackers. If you want to be my student, you have to practice 30 minutes every day and focus, focus, focus!
Jill: You know, I love what you're doing with your hair.

Brad: Man, I thought when you practice, you're supposed to get better.
Randy: That only works if you have a little thing called talent.
Brad: You know, maybe it's just us. [off-key playing continues]
Randy: It's not us.
Brad: Hey, I've got an idea. Come on. Hey, Mom, the music sounds fantastic.
Jill: You think?
Brad: Yeah, I mean, I thought I was listening to a radio.
Jill: Well, I still have the rest of the half hour to do, you know. I gotta play this... four more times.
Randy: That would be a big mistake.
Jill: Really? How come?
Randy: There is a danger in over-practicing.
Jill: There's a bigger danger in trying to pull a fast one on your mother. Now, listen, guys. I'm going to play this until I get it right.
Brad: All right. But don't blame us when you miss your grandchildren's weddings.

Tim: Sounds great. I thought I was listening to the radio.
Jill: Brad and Randy already tried that.
Tim: Really? Did they try this? If you don't stop playing that piano, I'm going to kill myself.
Jill: No, they didn't.