Jill: Hi, Mark. [Mark is silent] You're still not talking to me? Oh, honey! Look. Look. I got you something really cool. This is a P-38 Lightning.
Mark: Keep it. I don't care about planes anymore.
Jill: Well, couldn't you find another hobby?
Mark: Like what? Stamp collecting?
Jill: Well, that'd be good. Or coins or paperweights. I, as a child, collected butterflies.
Mark: I, as a child, could care less.

Wilson: Don't panic, Jill. I'll just readjust the mixture. [engine starts] And I'll level the course. There. That's better.
Tim: I'm sorry, everybody. Is there something I can do, Wilson?
Wilson: Well, actually, Tim, there's a very special job I have for you.
Tim: Great. What is it?
Wilson: Take your hands...
Tim: Got them.
Wilson: Place them firmly under your butt...
Tim: OK.
Wilson: And leave them there for the rest of the flight.

Tim: Hey, Mark. Looking good.
Mark: Thanks. I only got one more decal to put on and I'm done. How are you doing?
Tim: What do you think?
Mark: It doesn't really look like a Spitfire.
Tim: That's because it's a combination - Spitfire and Mustang. I don't know what to call it. A Spitstang or a Musfire.
Mark: I've never seen mag wheels on a plane before.
Tim: Four. A rear spoiler and dual exhaust. Huh?
Mark: Why would you need all that stuff?
Tim: In case you pull up next to a guy in a cloud who wants to race, that's why.

Jill: You know where you could take him? The Yankee Air Museum. I read they're having some kind of special exhibit.
Tim: That's a great idea. I'll take him Saturday. I won't have to suffer through one of your piano lessons again.
Jill: Excuse me. Did you say suffer?
Tim: Well, suffer in a good way. We all know that suffering makes us stronger.
Jill: Tim, do you have any idea how lame that was?
Tim: I'm never sure till I'm done.

Jill: Only you could turn a trip to the museum into a journey to death.
Tim: Before you get bent out of shape, take a look at the facts.
Jill: No, here is a fact: there is no one who's going to convince me that an 11-year old child should be taking flying lessons.
Tim: They teach a lot of kids how to fly. A lot of them are younger than Mark.
Jill: That doesn't make it safe.
Tim: They have a lot of sis-tis... sis-sis-tid... There's stat... tistis... There's t-t-t... There's facts in here that show that flying a small plane is safer than driving a car.
Jill: Well, sure, the way you drive.

Mark: So, can I take flying lessons?
Jill: I'm sorry, honey. But your father and I discussed it, and we decided that it's really not a good idea.
Mark: In other words, Mom said no and you caved.
Tim: I didn't cave. She thinks... She and l... think it'd be better if you got a little older to take these lessons.
Mark: How old?
Tim: Have your ever heard of a man named Methuselah?

Al: Two years ago, we were fortunate to have the crew of the space shuttle Endeavor.
Tim: Today, we're honored to meet the crew of the space shuttle Columbia. It's amazing that they're here, right?
Al: Yes, it is. Especially after you tried to steal one of the Endeavor crew's space tools.
Tim: I didn't steal one, I borrowed it, in case I was taking my family to the gas giant. That would be Jupiter, not your mother.

Al: Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a warm welcome for the crew of the Columbia.
Tim: First, let's welcome Ken Bowersox, who's been here with us before on Tool Time. He was with the space shuttle Endeavor last time. Welcome aboard.
Ken Bowersox: Thank you, Tim. For the record, I'd just like to say that you did try to steal that tool.
Tim: [chuckles] And for the record, I'd just like to say "Bowersox" is still a real funny name. Next to Ken is Cady Coleman. And next to her is Kathryn Thornton, who's spent over a 1,000 hours in space.
Kathryn Thornton: That's right, Tim. Tim, but 21 of those hours were outside the cabin.
Tim: Anything to get away from Ken, huh?
Kathryn Thornton: No, Tim. We were doing things like trying to repair the Hubble Space Telescope.
Tim: Ah, you don't have to cover for him.

Tim: Let me ask you guys a question that I'm sure most of us want to know. Do your mothers worry about you being in outer space? Ken?
Ken Bowersox: No, my mom never has a problem with me orbiting around the Earth. She only gets nervous when I fly in those small airplanes.
Tim: [nervous chuckle] Jill, I'm sure he's just kidding around. So, Al, guess what I have in common with all these astronauts.
Al: You've all had a fire lit under your butt and shot into space?
Tim: Well, that and Ph.D. If you remember, a couple of months ago, I got a Ph.D. All the astronauts also have Ph.Ds.
Ken Bowersox: Actually, Tim, that's not true. Everyone has one but me.
Tim: Well, isn't that a shame, Ken? Do you guys razz him for not having a doctorate?
Cady Coleman: No, we don't, Tim.
Tim: Why not?
Cady Coleman: 'Cause he's the commander.

Al: Fred, why don't you tell us a little something about what you guys did up there.
Fred Leslie: Well, Al, we had a 16-day mission where we conducted scientific experiments.
Al Sacco: And we focused on things like the physics of fluids.
Tim: Hm-hmm. Give me a couple of beers, I'll teach you all you need to know about the physics of fluids.
Ken Bowersox: Then I guess our mission was completely unnecessary.