Jill: Maybe I can find something for my husband. What is this thing here?
Salesman: Well, that's a very rare item. It's a Swedish pancake maker signed by Bjorn Borg.
Jill: My husband loves Swedish pancakes.
Salesman: Wonderful with marmalade.
Jill: Really? I never tried them like that.
Salesman: That's the way Bjorn eats them.
Jill: This could be a very interesting purchase.
Salesman: It's doubled in value since I got it.
Jill: If I buy the cards, how much will this cost me?
Salesman: $50, and I'll throw in a jar of marmalade.
Jill: I'll give you ten.
Salesman: Deal, but no marmalade.
Jill: Aw.

Tim: Well, we've seen Pete strut his stuff. Maybe we can get Al up there and see some of that famous Borland balance. [audience cheers] These beams are made of solid steel. They're made to hold up to two tons, so I think Al will be all right. [Al climbs up on a beam] Whoo, graceful as a gazelle. Klaus? ["Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines" plays] One important thing to remember about the high steel is sometimes you need a girder with extra support. [beam creaks] I think in Al's case, we need an 18-hour girder.

Tim: Axleby says the hot rod should be painted in two weeks, so get out your hot pants.
Jill: Tim, I have never worn hot pants, I'm never going to wear hot pants, so if hot pants are important to you, you wear 'em.
Randy: There's a pretty picture.

Jill: So, my mother called today.
Tim: Yeah?
Jill: The bonds that she bought for the kids are coming due. I can't believe she thought she had to remind me.
Tim: Well, did you remember?
Jill: No, I didn't remember, Mr. Butt Out If You Have Nothing Constructive To Say.

Jill: So I told her that I thought the boys were old enough to have some say where their money goes. She says no, no, no - I should just reinvest the bonds and not even tell them.
Tim: I don't want you to hit me, but I think your mom's right.
Jill: [mouth full] You're agreeing with my mother?
Tim: [imitates her] Let's face it, the boys are childish, irresponsible. They can't handle money. They're like me.
Jill: Well, I don't want them to be like you, so I say we present them with all the different options, and they choose their own investment.
Tim: Like real estate.
Jill: What are they gonna get for 50 bucks apiece?
Tim: Really little apartments.

Randy: No, Brooks Robinson!
Brad: Roger Maris!
Randy: No, Sandy Koufax!
Brad: Then Yogi Berra!
Randy: Sandy Koufax was the best pitcher ever.
Brad: Yogi Berra was such a good hitter.

Randy: Hey, Dad, check this out. An Andy Pafko.
Mark: Who's Andy Pafko?
Tim: He was, uh... $1300. Keep browsin'.

Tim: [chuckles] What kind of idiot comes to a store like this for a frying pan?
Salesman: It's a Swedish pancake maker signed by Bjorn Borg.
Tim: Really? I think I remember him serving those at Wimbledon.

Tim: Hey, hey, hey, guys, look, an Indy car.
Brad: Oh, it even has a remote control. Cool!
Tim: This is better than cool. Rick Mears drove this to a victory in '84. Oh, man, it's autographed.
Brad: Dad, why don't we buy something like this?
Tim: Hey, hold on a second. Hey, Mr. Con, or Mr. Man... Mr. Con Man? What kind of an investment is this Mears car?
Salesman: Well, it's been a very good one for me. It's already doubled in value.
Tim: No kiddin'. What are you askin' for it?
Salesman: $140.
Brad: Oh, cool. If all three of us put our money together, we could buy it and still have $10 left over.
Randy: Yeah.
Mark: Yeah.
Tim: [whistles] I think we're all forgetting the bloody Nutty Buddy bar incident.

Brad: But you heard the guy. It's a great investment.
Randy: Yeah, it's already doubled.
Tim: Yeah. I was at this race. It was a great victory for him. Love to have this souvenir in our house. We could get rid of those pictures, put it up on the mantel.
Mark: Dad, those are pictures of us.
Tim: Oh. Well, we'll squeeze 'em in.