Jill: Well... I gotta say this shows some very creative thinking, you know? The only thing is, there's no way that the three of you are gonna be able to share one card.
Brad: But Mom, if we each pitch in our $50, we could get a better card.
Jill: Maybe, but I'm remembering those bloody noses that resulted that time you tried to share that 50-cent Nutty Buddy bar.
Randy: Oh, yeah, the famous bloody Nutty Buddy bar incident.
Jill: Yeah.

Tim: I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and welcome to the high steel!
Pete: Hey, Timmy!
Tim: I'll be right up. We'll take the elevator up, which is right behind me. Follow me over there. Course, you all know my assistant, Al "Steel Crazy After All These Years" Borland.
Al: That's right, Tim. I love steel. It's durable, reliable and cheap, everything I look for in an alloy.
Tim: Everything you look for in a date.

Heidi: Does everybody know what time it is?
Audience: Tool Time!
Heidi: That's right. Binford Tools is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo!
Tim: Thank you, Heidi, and welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. You all know my assistant, Al "Objects Keep Falling On My Head" Borland. We're dressed like this today in our construction vests because on Tool Time we begin High Steel Week. Hi, steel. Al, say hello to the girder.
Al: They're inanimate objects, Tim.
Tim: Well, so are you, but we talk every day.

Tim: It takes a certain kind of man to navigate the high steel. There's no two better guys to tell us some safety tips about walking the girders than the boys from K&B Construction Company up there in Bay City, Michigan. Let's give a big round of applause for Dwayne and Pete. It's great to have you guys on the show.
Pete: Always great to be here, Timmy.
Dwayne: Especially today, Tim, because we have brought along some other boys...
Tim: Dwayne! Dwayne!
Dwayne: Say hello to Sam, Tom, Tim, Pete, John, Bill, John-Bob, Bob-Bob, Billy-Bob and Bob.
Tim: Hey, K&Bers, how you doin'? Maybe after the show you all go back to Al-Bob's house, have some milk and cookies.

Tim: Before we head out to the real job site, though, we're gonna learn some safety tips about walking on top of the high steel.
Dwayne: Well, first, Pete would like to demonstrate the correct technique.
Pete: Technique is important, Tim. Otherwise you could slip and end up six inches shorter. Like Dwayne. I find the safest way to walk the steel is with one foot directly in front of the other.
Al: That would be the one-foot- directly-in-front-of-the-other technique.
Pete: And Tim, on those extra-windy days, you may want to... use an arm... for balance.
Tim: Nice hip action, guy.
Pete: You're not the first to say so, Timmy.

Brad: Oh, cool, the hot rod.
Mark: When she's painted, is she all done?
Tim: Well... gotta wire it, put the upholstery in, and then the hard part - talk your mom into sitting in the front seat with a tube top and hot pants.
Brad: Do you think maybe if nobody tells Mom... can I drive it?
Tim: Well, I was kinda waiting to surprise you... No!

Tim: Don't touch anything. Whoo, the smell of sports dust in the air. Kinda takes you back to your childhood.
Randy: Dad, this is our childhood.
Mark: Wow, look at all these cards. How are we gonna know what to buy?
Tim: That's why I'm here.
Brad: Dad, you don't know anything about baseball cards.
Randy: Yeah, Mom should've come.
Tim: Look, Honus... You don't need people in here that know about baseball. You need someone here who knows about business.
Randy: Well, then why are you here?

Tim: Excuse me. My sons are interested in baseball cards as an investment, and they don't want to get ripped off.
Salesman: Sorry, all we do is rip people off. Store policy.
Tim: All right, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you, Mr...
Salesman: Ripoffer. Conman T. Ripoffer.
Tim: From the famous Jack-the-Ripoffer family?
Salesman: Don't worry, I'll give you a good price. Go browse.
Tim: All right, thanks.

Pete: Timmy!
Tim: Oh, Pete Bilker from K&B Construction. He'll be takin' us up top. It's good to be on the job site with you finally.
Pete: It's great to have you guys come see us for a change.
Al: I love what you done with the place.
Pete: Thanks, Al. I picked out the fire-retardant Monaco color myself.
Al: It shows.
Tim: You guys pick out your china pattern later. Right now I wanna get up to the high steel!

Salesman: Hello, can I help you?
Jill: I was shopping in the mall, and I realized that this is the store where my boys bought their toy Indy car.
Salesman: Oh, yes, I remember. I hope they're not playing with it.
Jill: Believe me, they're definitely not playing with it.
Salesman: So what can I do you for today?
Jill: Well, you know, I was thinking about buying the three little monsters one of these baseball cards for Christmas. What do you think about these three here?
Salesman: Oh, very good. They've doubled in value since I got them.
Jill: Well, you know, I think $40 is a little steep, according to my book here, so do you mind if I look around some more?
Salesman: No, please, by all means, browse.