Ilene: Everywhere we go, the women have been flocking to his flannel.
Jill: They have?
Tim: There is nothing worse in this world than a flagrant flannel flocker.

Woman: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but, Mr. Borland, I just have to tell you you're even more handsome than you were in the magazine. Can I have your autograph?
Al: Please, call me Al.
Woman: I'm such a fan of your show.
Al: Oh, that's very gratifying to hear. Tim and I always try to do our best.
Woman: Who's Tim? [Tim waves] Oh. Bye.
Al: Uh, excuse me, miss. You forgot something.
Ilene: She didn't forget anything, Al. She just gave you her phone number.
Jill: Can you believe that woman? I mean, she could see you were with him.
Tim: Going for Al, maybe she can't see.

Tim: Anyway, Ilene, tell us what's going on in the fast-paced world of orthodontia.
Ilene: Oh, it's very exciting. I just got back from a symposium on overbites, and the most interesting thing happened. What are you doing, Al?
Al: Waving.
Ilene: I'm in the middle of a story.
Al: Well, I was just being polite. I feel I have a responsibility to my public.
Ilene: Your public? A few days ago you didn't have a public.
Al: Well, yes, I did. They just didn't know who I was.
Ilene: You know, the way you're acting I'm not sure I know who you are.
Al: Well, I'm still the same old Al Borland. [to a woman passing by] Hey.

Al: What is Ilene so upset about?
Tim: Let me give you a little piece of advice. When you're out with Ilene, next time you wave at a strange woman you'd better be riding in a float in a parade.

Al: Well, it's not my fault that... that all these women are paying attention to me.
Tim: Oh, yeah, you're a real babe magnet right now.
Al: I wouldn't go that far.
Christine: Hello.
Al: Hello, I'm Al Magnet. I-l mean, Al... Al Borland, and it's very nice to meet you.
Christine: Christine Dempsey.
Al: Christine.
Christine: Sorry to bother you, but, um, I've broken my heel, and I read about how good you are with your hands.
Al: You know, I have a tool kit for just such an emergency.
Tim: He also has an emergency inflatable raft in case the kitchen floods. [laughs] You know, the kitchen... kitchen?

Tim: Oh, boy.
Al: [to Christine] You have a very lovely foot. A very lovely knee. And a heck of a thigh.
Tim: I wouldn't go any higher, Al.
Christine: Your hands are so warm.
Al: Well, I've always had very good circulation.
Tim: You're about ready to be put out of circulation, Al.

Ilene: Al!
Al: I-I'm sorry, um... Uh, Christine. Ilene, Christine. Christine, Ilene. Ilene is my friend.
Ilene: Your friend? I'm your friend?
Al: My good friend.
Ilene: Girlfriend.
Al: Girlfriend. That's the word I was... I was looking for.

Al: Well, Ilene just refused to talk to me. She got in the cab and left.
Jill: Well, I don't blame her. Now, get in your car and go after her.
Al: I'm not sure I wanna do that.
Tim: I wouldn't either. You didn't do anything wrong.
Al: No, I didn't.
Jill: That's not what you think, is it, Tim?
Tim: It's not?
Jill: No.
Al: What do you think?
Tim: I don't know. Ask her.

Jill: He thinks that ever since you read that magazine article that you've lost that... that teddy-bear quality we all love.
Tim: He still has that. It's just every girl in Detroit wants to squeeze the stuffing out of him.
Al: That's right. Everywhere...
Jill: Tim, I think that you should tell him if he keeps behaving like this he's going to lose Ilene, and she is the best thing that ever happened to him.
Tim: She is the only thing that ever happened to him.

Jill: Would you please be serious and just talk some sense into him?
Tim: You want me to tell him that being wanted by every girl in Detroit is bad thing?
Jill: Yes.
Tim: And do that with a straight face?
Jill: Yes.
Tim: Al... I can't say that. I can't do it.
Jill: You're gonna sit there and not say anything?
Tim: I'll say something. Al, call the waitress. Tell her we want pork.