Wilson: See, according to Einstein, light consists of energy packets called quanta, which later became known as photons.
Mark: Well, that's great, Wilson. But can you tell me something about him that's interesting?
Wilson: You know, Mark, I'm thinking physics may not be your cup of tea. Mark, what are you interested in?
Mark: Oh, lots of things - cars, tools, sports.
Tim: Hey, guys.
Wilson: You know, Mark, I may not be the person you want to speak to about this.
Mark: Gotcha, Wilson.

Al: Where have you been?
Al: You've gotta hear what happened to me when I got home from the restaurant last night.
Tim: Al, you're an hour late.
Al: Well, I had a lot of calls to return from my admirers. It's a good thing I got this cellular phone.
Tim: Cellular phone, Al?
Al: That's right. Oh, and listen, if anybody asks, here's my number.
Tim: OK, I'll drop it off at the pound.

Al: Anyway, so when I get home, in the parking garage two women are waiting for me. Twins.
Tim: Maybe they needed a place to park, Al.
Al: Well, they wanted to park Al, all right! Those women really wanted to get their hands on "Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-it." And who could blame them?
Tim: Can you hand me that sledgehammer?
Al: Why?
Tim: See if I can pound your head back to the normal size.

Tim: Remember before Ilene came along, your black book consisted of one number - your mom's.
Al: Well, that's all changed now.
Tim: Why has it all changed now? Because of one stupid magazine article?
Al: No.
Tim: Did you really read it? Did you notice they put one zero extra on your salary?
Al: They d... [pulls the magazine out]
Tim: You carry it around with you?
Al: Oh, man! So this is why everybody was paying attention to me?
Tim: No, that's not the only reason.
Al: Yes. Yes, it is.
Tim: No, it's not. They picked you as most eligible bachelor for a lot of reasons. That's just a typo. I mean, you are a good hard-working guy. You're ha-handsome in a way, you know. Hey, if I were a woman, l...
Al: Tim.
Tim: Yeah, you're right. The point is there's a woman that's always found you sexy, and she didn't have to read it in a magazine.

Al: I know that I've really been full of myself lately.
Ilene: Yes, you have.
Al: And it's just that nothing like this has even remotely ever happened to me before. l... I mean, it's... I've never been popular like this, and I just didn't know how to handle it.
Ilene: So what are you saying, Al?
Al: Well, I'm saying that... Detroit's... sexiest bachelor... would really like to be with Detroit's sexiest orthodontist.
Ilene: Oh, Al.