Tim: All right, Manuel. Chisel sequence, take 16. Focus, Al, and have some fun, buddy. Action.
Al: Chisels... ...are categorized by the type of material that they are used for. Wood, metal, masonry.
Tim: Cut.
Al: What? What! What?T
Tim: It's good. It's good. Can you combine take three and take six? A little of nine in there? All right. Imagine that your father left your mother for a chisel.
Al: What?!
Tim: Use that. Go with that. Go!

Tim: Well, it's a good time for some make-up.
Al: Do I need a touch-up?
Tim: You're fine but the tools are all shiny. Get some powder! Who can powder? Am I the only one working on this thing? Where's the powder? Manuel!

Al: Harry!
Harry: [imitating Brando] You talkin' to me? You talking to me?
Al: Harry, I can't worry about your acting career right now. We gotta get this done by tomorrow. Tim is way behind.
Harry: Look, I can't give you any more time. I got customers outside waiting.
Tim: I know. [enters] Hey, guys. You know you got customers waiting out here? You guys are gonna have to leave! We're shooting a video! Come on, come on, come on.
Al: He is completely out of control.
Harry: He just ran off paying customers.

Al: Uh, Tim. Uh, you know, I'm having a problem with the way this is going.
Tim: As your director, I'll tell you this, you're the actor. Act like you're not having a problem.
Al: I'm also the producer.
Tim: You should be worried about producing a good performance, little bumpkin. [to a customer] What did I tell you about coming in? We got medication? Get out of here!

Al: You're right. You're right. I have to fire him. How do I do that?
Harry: Frankly, Al, I don't give a damn.

Antonio: May I tempt you with some alluring creations from our pastry chef? The tiramisu is quite fetching.
Tim: Just fetch the check, please.
Antonio: Also an excellent choice.
Al: I will take that.
Tim: You're gonna buy off your guilt by paying for dinner? I don't think so.
Al: Oh, no! [they tussle over the bill]
Tim: Give it to me. Come here.
Al: Oh, no! [Tim grabs the bill] You see? Everything has to be done your way!
Tim: The right way.
Al: Fine!
Tim: Fine.
Al: Fine! [bumps into Antonio and the desert tray]
Tim: Fine!
Al: Fine. [storms off]
Antonio: I will have to add some dessert to that.

Tim: Al Borland is a no-talent, worthless bum.
Ilene: Tim! Guess who's here? Ilene!
Tim: Hello, Ilene. Good to see you. New perm?
Ilene: Why are you saying such terrible things about my Al?
Tim: 'Cause your Al just fired me.
Jill: Your Al fired my Tim!

Tim: All he cared about is schedules and budgets. Schedule, budget, schedule, budget, schedule, budget... Too much time...
Jill: OK, OK, OK, look. He gave you two days to shoot a 60-minute video. How much did you get done today?
Tim: Today?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: The first day?
Jill: Right.
Tim: Well, you put it... You know, you had to... You had to put it all... Once you... About five minutes.

Ilene: No wonder he fired you! I've gotta go. Al must be really hurting right now.
Jill: OK.
Tim: He's hurting? I was the one that got axed.
Ilene: You've got Jill to comfort you. [exits]
Tim: [scoffs] You know how to comfort me.
Jill: Five minutes?
Tim: It was a brilliant five minutes.
Jill: You are so pathetic.
Tim: And the comfort would come from?

Al: Hello, Tim.
Tim: Hello, Al. Well, you gonna finish doing that video tonight?
Al: Yes, I am. Thank you for asking.
Tim: You're welcome. Well, we should have a good show today, Al.
Al: Yes, we should. I always enjoy sealant week.