Heidi: Welcome to a special live Tool Time with your hosts, Tim Taylor and Al Borland.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Welcome to Tool Time. Today, Al and I are at our project house and we're going to show you how to lay a brick walkway.
Al: Now, the first thing you want to do is pick out your brick pattern.
Tim: So you just go to your bridal registry at your local brickyard.
Al: Today we're going with the classic basket weave.
Tim: All right, this section, we've already laid a concrete slab using Binford's quick-dry cement. This will be a perfect foundation for our brick pavers.
Al: That's right. Gary, if you want to come in here. This is gonna dry very fast. So you want to quickly use your trowel to smooth it out.
Tim: While Al does that, I'll compact and level the next section using Binford's 6100 Power Compactor. [grunts]
Al: Normally, you wouldn't use a power compactor on a job this small, but Tim's not normal.
Tim: Don't talk to me about normal, turtle nanny.

Jill: Tim, what are you doing here?
Tim: What are you doing here?
Jill: Well, I came to talk to Dana.
Tim: Oh, no.
Jill: Nice foot. Is this where you come when the emergency room is filled up?
Tim: That's not a bad idea.

Tim: Today's Tool Time is a rousing salute to semi-gloss and gloss latex.
Al: But first, on a personal note, I'd like to thank our Tool Time audience for their generous outpouring of concern for Scooter the Turtle. We were both overwhelmed by the amount of cards and flowers that you all sent. Unfortunately, because of Scooter's sugar allergies, he was not allowed to eat the chocolate that you sent.
Tim: Bet that didn't stop you and your mom from scarfing all that stuff down.
Al: Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a warm welcome back for Scooter - the fully recovered turtle! Scooter! Scooter!
Tim: Oh, I wonder if little Scooter remembers me. Do you remember...? [biting] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Al: Obviously, he does remember you.
Tim: Ow! Ow!
Al: Scooter, release.

Jill: Notice anything different on the refrigerator?
Tim: Someone took down the coupon for a free lube job.
Jill: No! I got an "A" on my Psychology test.
Tim: You didn't throw away the coupon, did you?
Jill: Here is your stupid coupon.

Jill: So, you and Michelle have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Randy: I guess.
Jill: I think she really likes you. What do you think?
Randy: I think I don't want to talk about this with my mother.
Jill: Oh, come on!
Randy: Sorry, Mom. I'm past the age where you give me a cookie and I spill my guts.
Jill: I loved those days. Hey, look, look, look. I've got chocolate chocolate chip.
Randy: Give it up, Mom.
Jill: Well, at least I still have Mark. Oh, hey, honey. You want a cookie?
Mark: Forget it. I'm not spilling my guts.

Bert: So, did you decide on an engine yet? Are you gonna go with a big block?
Tim: No. I decided on a flat head.
Bert: Flat head? Taylor, you are an animal. Just as I have you pegged as a big-block guy, you surprise me with a flat head.
Tim: Well, I like to keep you on your toes, Bert.
Bert: Well, usually you're dropping things on 'em.
Tim: Don't quit your day job, OK?

Bert: I'm really glad we're doing this today.
Tim: You like hanging with "The Tool Man", huh?
Bert: Especially when my in-laws are visiting.
Tim: Been there. [Jill enters]
Bert: Dana, she really gets crazy when her parents are around.
Tim: Not as crazy as my wife, boy! When her parents come to visit, she's a psycho. And they're not running on all cylinders. They're, like, a couple pistons shy of a V-8, if you know what I mean.
Jill: What do you mean, Tim?
Tim: Huh? Honey, I'm... Bert was telling me about his wife, I wanted to make him feel a better. So I made up stories about your wonderful, understanding, lovely parents.

Jill: I'm sure Bert didn't say his wife was crazy.
Bert: Yes, I did. Dana, she's a total nut case when her parents are around. She spends the whole time trying to make her daddy happy.
Jill: Whoa! Do I sense a little hostility there?
Bert: Well, she lets him run her entire life. He's a vet. So she became a vet.
Tim: Yeah? What branch? Army, Navy, what?
Bert: Animal.

Bert: Can we get back to this individuated thing? What is that?
Tim: It's a two-hour discussion that'll suck the life out of ya.
Jill: It's an over-attachment to one's parents that continues through adulthood.
Tim: Here we go.

Jill: Was your wife an only child, by any chance?
Bert: Yeah. As a matter of fact, she is.
Jill: Well, then, could be a classic case.
Bert: Really?
Jill: Yeah. You know, if this is a problem in your relationship, you really should talk with your wife about it.
Bert: Oh, I don't know. I've brought it up before and every time it ends up in a big fight. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone.
Tim: That's good advice for anyone, Jill.
Jill: Avoidance is never a good idea.
Bert: Really?
[Bert throws the shop towel at Tim and follows Jill into the kitchen]
Bert: Maybe we should talk more about this.
Jill: Sure. You want a cookie?