Emily: You knew this whole evening made me uncomfortable and yet you kept pushing.
Lorelai: I was trying to do everything right. You manipulated me into taking this trip and still I came. You told me I was acting like a teenager so I tried to be nicer. You said you needed to eat so I made that happen.
Emily: Yes, by sitting me at a bar where you practically forced me to engage in inappropriate behavior.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: You let me get 60-40'd.
Lorelai: You are crazy. Do you know that? We were having dinner, Mom, a nice dinner. We were talking. Hell, we were having fun.
Emily: Oh, so watching your mother make an ass of herself is fun.
Lorelai: You don't have any right to complain about this relationship if you're not willing to let your guard down once in a while and just be normal.
Emily: There's a way for a mother to behave with her daughter. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's how it is.

Emily: Why can't we have what you and Rory have?
Lorelai: Rory and I are different, Mom.
Emily: We're mother and daughter. You're mother and daughter. It shouldn't be that different.
Lorelai: It's completely different. It couldn't be more different.
Emily: But why?
Lorelai: I grew up in a different environment.
Emily: You mean an oppressive environment.
Emily: No, Mom, I mean a different environment. And plus, I was so young when I had Rory.
Emily: So because I waited until I was grown and married, I can't have a relationship with my daughter.
Lorelai: No.
Emily: Well, then, why?
Lorelai: Rory and I are best friends, Mom. We are best friends first and mother and daughter second. And you and I are mother and daughter always.

Emily: I wasn't taught to be best friends with my daughter.
Lorelai: I know.
Emily: I was taught to be a role model for my daughter.
Lorelai: I know that, too.
Emily: I did what I thought was right, I did what I thought I had to do to protect you. And because of this, we have no relationship.
Lorelai: Oh, Mom, we have a relationship.
Emily: We do? What? What is our relationship?
Lorelai: Well, we-
Emily: Exactly.
Lorelai: Maybe an intense weekend together was not the best idea for us. Maybe we need to start with something simpler.
Emily: Like what? A brisk walk around the block?
Lorelai: No, I hate exercise.
Emily: Oh, well, as long as you find this amusing.

Rory: I don't think Luke knew anything about the food last night.
Jess: That'll be $12.50.
Rory: That means you lied about why you came over.
Jess: I don't have any quarters. I'm going to have to give you nickels.
Rory: Now, why would you lie about something like that?
Jess: Here's your change. Come again soon.
Rory: You wanted to come over.
Jess: I have to get back to work.
Rory: You're squirming. I've never seen you squirm. It's entertaining.

Lorelai: Jeez, look at this place.
Rory: It's a mess.
Lorelai: How long-
Luke: No, can't sit here.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: Three people got nailed in the head here earlier.
Lorelai: But their food was okay, right?
Luke: Will you just move?

Lorelai: [on the phone] Two days of total mind-numbing pampering. Massages, facials, aromatherapy.
Emily: My goodness, you make it sound like heaven.
Lorelai: It's the closest you'll ever come to being a dog.
Emily: I beg your pardon?
Lorelai: You know, a whole life of nothing but eating, sleeping lying on your back and getting rubbed.
Emily: I'd love the comparison to stop there.

Rory: I think Grandma's here.
Lorelai: What's she honking for? She hates honking. She calls it a mechanical bodily function.

Emily: Hello, hello, hello.
Lorelai: What are we, going to the prom?
Emily: I just thought since this weekend is all about relaxing we should start with the ride.
Rory: This is cool, Grandma.
Emily: Thank you, Rory. So are we all ready to go?
Lorelai: I guess so, Miss Daisy.

Paris: Madeline.
Madeline: What?
Paris: What are you guys doing tonight?
Madeline: It's Friday night.
Paris: So, you've got dates?
Madeline: Yeah, why?
Paris: I was hoping you could study with me.
Madeline: On a Friday night?
Paris: Yes.
Madeline: We've got dates.

Louise: What is she saying?
Madeline: She wants us to study with her.
Louise: On a Friday night?
Madeline: Yeah.
Louise: But we've got dates.
Paris: I know. I was hoping maybe you'd cancel them.
Madeline: To study?
Paris: Yes.
Madeline: On a Friday night?
Louise: What did she say?
Madeline: She wants us to cancel our dates to study.
Louise: On a Friday night?
Paris: That's what she said.
Louise: But we have-
Paris: Oh, my God. Forget it!