Lorelai: And she had to have a girl. That kills me!
Rory: That her baby's a girl?
Lorelai: Yes, because I have a girl. She's just a copycat.
Rory: She can't control the sex of her baby.
Lorelai: Oh, really? Little Miss "Mani-pedi-I'll-give-birth-before-five-o'clock"? I think she can.
Rory: Mom...
Lorelai: "All I want's a ballerina." Poor thing's gonna pop out of her womb and land in a tutu.

Lorelai: And what is with that name... G.G.?
Rory: It's a cute name.
Lorelai: It is, 'cause she's copying me there, too. Rory, G.G. Rory, G.G. They're identical.
Rory: They are not identical.
Lorelai: Two syllables, repeating consonants. Rory... G.G.
Rory: Oprah, Uma.
Lorelai: Don't mock.
Rory: I'm just trying to joke you down off that ledge.

Jess: I'm not just doing rain gutters when I'm not working at the diner.
Luke: What are you doing?
Jess: I go to a... a place that gives me money.
Luke: For what?
Jess: For my services.
Luke: What services? What place? Jess, are you a gigolo?
Jess: What?
Luke: Well, I don't know. You say you go to a place where they give you money...

Luke: You've been sneaking out of here with a little vest hidden on you?
Jess: It's not a little vest.
Luke: Is it blue?
Jess: Will you stop talking about the vest?
Luke: Do you get a store discount?
Jess: Fifteen percent. And if you want fifteen percent off anything, you're not gonna get it 'cause you're being a jerk.
Luke: My enjoyment is worth the loss.

Jess: I'm eating and ignoring you.
Luke: You're like the all-American boy.
Jess: Call me Dirk Squarejaw.
Luke: Look at you.
Jess: What?
Luke: Eating apple pie.
Jess: I'm outta here.
Luke: Hey, wave a flag and sing "God Bless America", please?
Jess: Goodbye.

Rory: You're okay to drive, right?
Lorelai: I barely drank a thing.
Rory: I'm talking about your mood.
Lorelai: My mood is fine.
Rory: You're still mad at Sherry.
Lorelai: No, I'm fine, and I'm fine to drive. Although sometimes, when I'm driving and it's dark like this, I get the sudden urge to turn the wheel into oncoming traffic.
Rory: No, do not do Duane from Annie Hall! can see the flames, I can smell the smoke... I hate this bit.
Lorelai: Okay, I'm creeping me out, too.

Lorelai: Move those things, will you? They're not the most fragrant food in the world.
Rory: We shouldn't have taken them.
Lorelai: We had no choice.
Rory: She was insistent.
Lorelai: "Take the deviled eggs!" How many times did the woman say it? And then her drunken friends hear it and they're all shouting, "Take the deviled eggs!"

Rory: You know, we didn't have to stay that long.
Lorelai: [laughs] Not according to Sherry. She made a very persuasive argument that if we left at six, there'd be an extra hour of sitting in traffic, so by leaving at seven we'd get home at the same time as leaving at six.
Rory: She's very up on traffic flow and rush hour and all that.
Lorelai: She's Rand McNally.
Rory: She should do traffic reports on the radio.
Lorelai: "Hi, this is Sherry Tinsdale. Looks like there's a tie-up on the boulevard. They appear to be moving every building in Harvard University so now it's just one point three miles from my house. Nice job, guys."
Rory: You're awful.
Lorelai: "Oh, and lots of cars stopped at a blue light on Garvey Avenue. Why a blue light? Well, 'cause blue's the new red."

Rory: I wonder if he's seen it yet.
Lorelai: Doesn't look like it.
Lorelai: Maybe we should've headed for the border.
Rory: Which border?
Lorelai: The one between America and Sephoraland?

Jess: Someone devil-egged my car?
Luke: Well, that is paprika.
Jess: Someone prepared deviled eggs to throw at my car?
Luke: Man, they must hate you a lot. Maybe it was the guy in the garden department.
Jess: I'm gonna go get something to clean this up.
Luke: Or maybe it was the assistant night manager. You guys have words in the snack room?