Jess: I'm gonna sit here as long as I like, and I'm gonna do whatever I like, and if you don't like it, then just ignore me and pay attention to your boyfriend.
Dean: Sorry, she can't. I'm not her boyfriend anymore.
Rory: What?
Dean: You know, I tried to ignore this. I really did, but I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Dean: You don't wanna be with me, Rory.
Rory: Yes, I do.
Dean: Oh, please! You've been into him since he got to town, and I have spent weeks – months, actually – trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that everything was fine between us. But now I know that I was an idiot. You're into him and he's into you, and Shane, who by the way, should be listening to this 'cause it's so damn obvious.
Rory: What's obvious? What did I do?
Dean: Everyone can see, Rory! Everyone. And I'm tired, but I'm over it, so go ahead, go. Be together. There's nothing standing in your way now, 'cause I'm out.

Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie and Jackson?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: I've looked everywhere for them.
Luke: Have you tried the insane asylum where everybody in this room is supposed to be?

Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hm, no.
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale.
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or Mad Cow Disease.
Luke: Pale does not mean Mad Cow Disease.
Lorelai: Have you ever had Mad Cow Disease?
Luke: Twice last week and my coloring was wonderful.

Paris: [to herself] "Why are we working Saturday, Paris? What's so special about the seventy-fifth issue, Paris? Why does my head feel so light and yet not float away, Paris?"

Paris: What's he doing here?
Rory: I bet he's here to see you.
Paris: He hasn't called me once. I haven't seen or heard from him since we had our date in Washington three months ago.
Rory: Maybe he wants to explain why.
Paris: He was supposed to go away and never come back. I already wrote his name in my revenge notebook.

Rory: What'd you hear?
Lane: Quadrophenia.
Rory: Classy, but not date-like.
Lane: You think?
Rory: Definitely.
Dean: What if he met a girl who's a major Who fan?
Lane: What?
Rory: Why are you causing trouble?

Rory: I cannot dance with you.
Lorelai: Why not?
Rory: Because this is Dean's first marathon. We were gonna go and watch and hang out, he's totally looking forward to it. I told him about how Andrew gets in a fight with his date in the first fifteen minutes and storms off the floor. I told him about Taylor getting punch-drunk at hour fifteen and telling stories about how he always wanted to be a magician.
Lorelai: Rory, please.
Rory: And ooh... I told him about how when Kirk wins, he likes to take his victory lap around the floor to the theme from Rocky. I was gonna show him all those things, and I was gonna show them to him sitting down.
Lorelai: He can still come, and he can still see all those things, except if you dance, maybe that victory lap will be you and me instead of Kirk.

Rory: Paris, hi. Listen, I need to ask you something.
Paris: Shoot.
Rory: There's this big event that's happening in my town...
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.

Paris: I still don't understand why he'd wanna date me. He's surrounded by college girls all day long who must be prettier than I am, and more experienced than I am. I mean, I'm sure they're all idiots, but usually that's the last thing a guy thinks about when he's looking for a date for the big game.
Rory: Well, Jamie must be special.
Paris: Or Ted Bundy.
Rory: Absolutely. It's either one or the other.

Rory: What is that stuff?
Lane: Eggless egg salad. Though this year my mom added food coloring to make the egg-like product look more eggy.
Rory: Smart.
Lane: And every sandwich comes with your own personal pamphlet "Dancing for the Devil," an illustrated look at the effect of dancing on your chances of spending all eternity in hell.
Rory: Boy, her flames are getting really good.
Lane: Well, she just bought a new color printer. You can do a ton of stuff with it.