Lorelai: What are you doing here, Mother?
Emily: I told you, I came to put in a good word for Rory.
Lorelai: Well, she didn't need a good word.
Emily: I'm not allowed here, is that it?
Lorelai: I didn't say that.
Emily: I'm allowed to pay for it, but I can't set foot on the premises. I just want to get the rules straight.
Lorelai: Oh, boy.
Emily: How about driving down the street?
Lorelai: Forget it.
Emily: Maybe I should avoid this neighborhood altogether. Though my doctor is just down the block. Maybe I can get special permission if I'm bleeding from the head.

Elderly Woman: [British accent] This will be absolutely wonderful. There are supposed to be darling shops all up and down this street. Oh, excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where we can find the best antiques?
Michel: At your house, I'd guess.

Lorelai: Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, do a little dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?
Emily: What on earth are you talking about?
Lorelai: Also, there will be no cars, no parking spaces. And all the uniforms will be supplied by me. The mother. That's final. There will be no discussion.
Emily: You're being stubborn as usual.
Lorelai: No, Mom, I'm not being stubborn as usual. I'm being me. The same person who always needed to work out her own problems and take care of herself, because that's the way I was born. That's how I am!
Emily: Florence, I'm dripping.
Lorelai: I appreciate what you have done for Rory in paying for her school. That will not be forgotten. You won't let it. But she is my daughter. And I decide how we live, not you. Now, then... do they validate parking here?
Emily: There's a stamp at the desk.
Lorelai: Thank you.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Mom, you are not buying Rory a car.
Emily: Why not? She's a smart girl. She's responsible.
Lorelai: She doesn't need one.
Emily: She needs to have a way to get around. To get to school.
Lorelai: She'll be taking the bus.
Emily: I know. I hate that she takes the bus. Drug dealers take the bus.

Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. You know what happens when people are late on the first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Rory: For the rest of the year they're labeled "The late girl."

Rory: It's 7-
Lorelai: Don't even think of finishing that sentence. [off Rory's look] What?
Rory: Nothing. I just didn't know the rodeo was in town.
Lorelai: Right, that's it. I'm bringing the baby pictures.
Rory: No! I'm sorry. I love the rodeo, the rodeo rules.

Rory: I remember it being smaller.
Lorelai: Yeah. And less...
Rory: Off with their heads.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: What are you looking at?
Lorelai: Uh... I'm just trying to see if there's a hunchback up in that bell tower.

Rory: So, how do I look?
Lorelai: You look great.
Rory: Really?
Lorelai: Really. You are an amazing kid. You have earned this. You just go in there and show them what smart really is. I love you. Call me if you need me.
Rory: You're kidding, right?
Lorelai: No. Call me if you need anything. I'm great at making up dirty cheers.
Rory: You have to go in with me.
Lorelai: Rory, come on.
Rory: You have to meet the headmaster.
Lorelai: Well, look at me. I can't meet anybody who does anything in there.
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: No! I look like that chick from The Dukes of Hazzard.
Rory: This is my first day. You are not getting out of going in there with me. Period.

Emily: Hanlin, did you know that Rory has a 4.0 grade average?
Lorelai: I'm sure he does, Mom.
Emily: This is a very special girl. You take good care of her.
Hanlin Charleston: We'll do our best, Emily.
Lorelai: Oh, God. Rory's not going to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance. You know, like a Honda.
You know, they're just easy... Nice office.
Emily: Well, I don't think we should take up any more of your precious time. Hanlin, it was lovely to see you. Give Bitty our love.
Hanlin Charleston: Tell Richard I'll see him at the club Sunday.
Emily: Have a wonderful day, Rory. I want to hear all about it. [to Lorelai] Do you need a ride, or is your horse parked outside?

Lorelai: I'm sorry. I was just surprised to see you here.
Emily: I just thought it was important for this school to know they had a Gilmore with them.
Lorelai: A very good thought.
Emily: And that some of the Gilmores actually own clothing.
Lorelai: And on that note, I have to get to work. I'll see you later.
Emily: Dinner, Friday night. No spurs, please. [Lorelai groans]