Christopher: You know what else might work? One of those electronic fish. What do they call it? The Big-Mouth Billy Bass. You know what they are, right? When somebody walks by, they flap their mouths and sing songs like "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and "Take Me to the River."
Lorelai: You're kidding.
Christopher: I'm totally kidding, except for the flat-screen. We need a flat-screen.
Lorelai: No, I'd rather have the Big-Mouth Billy Bass Fish.
Christopher: What's wrong with the flat-screen?
Lorelai: It's so "meet George Jetson, his boy, Elroy". Leroy?
Christopher: Elroy. And it's not.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Pick up, pick up, pick up. It's me and your father. I don't know if you forgot, but we've been in Paris, and we flew across oceans and oceans just to see you again. And, so, we would really like to see you again - today, tonight, A.S.A.P., okay? So please call me. Call me back. S.T.A.S.A.P - sooner than as soon as possible. Okay, honey, call me. Call me. Call me. Call. Okay. Bye. [hangs up]

Rory: [on the phone] I'll come over the weekend.
Lorelai: No, Rory, it has to be tonight.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Uh... s-snails.
Rory: Snails?
Lorelai: W-We... Your dad and I brought back snails.
Rory: For eating?
Lorelai: Yes, and if we don't cook them tonight, they'll go bad.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Well, it's true. It has to be tonight.

Rory: Why are you wearing that?
Lorelai: Because I've been cooking snails.
Rory: You're kidding me.
Lorelai: And cooking snails and dealing with snail spatter.
Rory: She really cook those?
Christopher: She did.
Lorelai: What do you mean? I told you I was gonna cook them.
Rory: Yeah, but I thought it was just something you say, like a euphemism.
Lorelai: A euphemism for what?
Rory: A euphemism for "I'm ordering a pizza."

Hugo: So, what kind of pieces you write at Yale?
Rory: A little bit of everything. That's the great thing about being editor, you can pretty much give yourself the best pieces. I got to interview Barack Obama a couple weeks ago. He came to speak at campus.
Hugo: Really? Did you ask your buddy Barack if he's gonna run in 2008?
Rory: What kind of journalist would I be if I didn't?
Hugo: And?
Rory: Standard answer, "no current plans." But I saw a twinkle in his eye.
Hugo: Well, you can't quote a twinkle.
Rory: But you can describe it.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Okay, I'm just gonna leave you one more message, and then I'm gonna start sending telegrams. Honey, I know you think this marriage was a big step, and and it seems impulsive to you, and we talked about going slow, and this seems like the opposite of slow. And, in some ways, it is. And, in some ways, it really isn't. And I really want to talk to you about it. So, please, call me back or respond to any of my forthcoming telegrams. Okay. Bye-bye.

Logan: Where do you get off acting all morally superior?
Rory: That is not what I intended to say at all.
Logan: You clearly think you are. Why? Because you read Ironweed? 'Cause you saw Norma Rae? Wake up, whether you like it or not, you're one of us. You went to prep school. You go to Yale. Your grandparents are building a whole damn astronomy building in your name.
Rory: That is different, okay? It's not like I live off a $5-million trust fund my parents set up for me.
Logan: Yeah, well, you're not exactly paying rent, either.
Rory: Screw you, Logan.

Lorelai: Oh, my god, you dirty thief.
Christopher: Excuse me?
Lorelai: You stinking, lying, stinking, ratty, dirty thief! What? This is my Police "Synchronicity" t-shirt. I have been missing this for 22 years! I asked you if you had it! I looked you right in the face, and you denied it!
Christopher: I lied.
Lorelai: Oh, you lied! You lied! Do you know how long I looked for this?! Days and days! And then I accused my mother of throwing it out, and she said she didn't, and... Oh, my God, I hated her. Oh my God, I could have had the best relationship with my mother if you hadn't stolen my shirt. Well, keep laughing, buddy, because, I'll tell you, the laugh's on you now. You better get used to seeing this shirt, because I have to make up for 22 years.

Rory: Hey, you didn't take Dad's name, did you?
Lorelai: No. No. "Hayden"? No. I don't want to be Mrs. Hayden planetarium for the rest of my life. I'm Lorelai Gilmore, okay? Lorelai Gilmore without the "Gilmore" is like Gil, you know, less.