Lorelai: What can I get you?
Kirk: I want lunch, but I'm not sure what to get.
Lorelai: I have a suggestion: How about a hamburger with some strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce for dessert?
Kirk: Sounds good.
Lorelai: Yo, burn one, then pass me a pink stick and throw some mud on it! God, I love this business.
Troubadour: Boy, it's freezing out there.
Lorelai: Yes, it's quite a cold snap. How about a hot blonde with sand?
Troubadour: Coffee with cream and sugar would be great. Thanks. Make sure its foot's out the door.
Lorelai: Put it in a cup to go. Got it.

Taylor Doose: FYI, Van Halen hair, I'm plenty busy. But a good, well-groomed businessman with properly prepared staff can take a break now and then.
Kirk: Probably helped that your store was dead, too.
Taylor Doose: It was not dead.
Kirk: I thought it was closed when I walked by. Then I saw Gabby at the cash register reading a tabloid-
Taylor Doose: Shut up.
Kirk: Tapping on the counter with one of those astrological scrolls.
Taylor Doose: Enough.

Lorelai: Luke, it's me. Hey, brought you a wimpy with a rose pinned on it.
Luke: A what?
Lorelai: A turkey burger with onions.
Luke: Oh, thanks.

Rory: Hey, Mom.
Lorelai: What's up? You got a herd of bulls shopping for china?
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Customers. How long have you owned a diner?

Lorelai: Can I take your order?
Woman: Yes. Bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, no mayo.
Lorelai: I need a piggy-piggy with a green bed- Green blanket. BLT, no mayo. Rats.

Jackson: Remember that sweet, simple, affordable, little wedding Sookie and I agreed on with minimal disagreement, none in fact, perhaps the first time in the history of wedding planning that a couple agreed 100% on everything?
Lorelai: Yes.
Jackson: Gone. Ancient history. It's the library of Alexandria, the colossus of Rhodes. It's Pop Rocks. It's over. And do you know why?
Lorelai: My mother?

Taylor Doose: Late again, are we?
Lorelai: Yes. I hope I'm not pregnant.
Taylor Doose: What?

Rory: What are you doing here, anyhow? This is a town meeting for people who participate in and care about the town.
Jess: Well, Corky's Country Cavalcade on public access was pre-empted, so I thought I'd check out the next best thing.

Troubadour: Why does it say it twice?
Babette: You said, "Cart, kiosk, cart, kiosk."
Lorelai: It's repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: It's repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: [British accent] We certainly are entertaining, Mac.
Rory: [British accent] Indubitably, Tosh.

Troubadour: I mean, did anyone hear the word 'rolling' come out of his mouth? Check the transcript. You'll find one word missing: Rolling.
Miss Patty: Transcript?
Lorelai: Taylor, this isn't Charlie Rose.