Lorelai: In fact, I have here in my hand a schedule of all the activities we are going to partake in over this week, the final week of Rory Gilmore's life before she enters the ivy-covered hallowed halls of Yale University.
Rory: Schedule, please.
Lorelai: Okay. Today we get these presents out to our friends and then we hit the mall.
Rory: Got it.
Lorelai: Tomorrow we get an early start and we hit three of the crappier movies that are out.
Rory: And then we have dinner at Grandma's.
Lorelai: Which I will conveniently not put down on my list in the hopes that that magically goes away. Okay, the next day we hit New York, see your fancy art galleries, hit the Strand.
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Pizza at John's. Sunday, pick up all the stuff you need for school, and then there's a barbecue at Sookie's. Monday is mani/pedi, facial, haircut, go to the psychic, and stock up for Tuesday, the day of all days - Godfather I, II, and III, with extra showings of the Sofia death scene over and over as long as the Mallomars hold out.
Rory: The perfect day!
Lorelai: I agree.
Rory: And I think we have just enough of the biscotti that we brought back from Milan to last us the rest of the week.

Lorelai: It's the perfect gift for Luke. Fine fancy jam from France.
Rory: Fine fancy jam from Jackson's pantry.
Lorelai: I don't know what you're talking about. I am looking right here at this beautiful hand-crafted label and it says "Fruits de la Terre."
Rory: You didn't even spellcheck to make sure you got the French right.
Lorelai: Yes, well, I think it adds an authentic touch. See, in my world, the person who made this jam was an illiterate orphan, Sochelle.
Rory: As in Sochelle Crab.
Lorelai: Yes, exactly. Sochelle was born by the sea, or so said the note left in the bassinet when the nuns found her on the steps of Notre Dame.
Rory: Oh, good, there are nuns.
Lorelai: Every sad story needs nuns. Anyhow, Sochelle had nothing - no father, no mother, no friends, no education. All she had was a burning desire to make great jam, and now she's the most successful jamstress in Paris.

Lorelai: Oh my God, your bed feels good.
Rory: Do not get comfortable. I will sleep on top of you if I have to.
Lorelai: Oh man, smell this.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: I forgot that pillows don't have to smell like feet. You know, I have to say, I think it's good I did this hostel thing in my thirties, and I'll tell you why.
Rory: [hugs her clothes] I missed you, I missed you all!
Lorelai: If I had done it in my twenties or teens, I would've been naive enough to think that hostels were exotic and romantic. But once you're in your thirties, you've lived enough to know they're gross and should be avoided at all costs.

Lorelai: Wow, we sure have a lot of gifts. Do we like this many people?
Rory: I didn't think so. Maybe we're getting soft in our old age.
Lorelai: Okay, well, I guess we should get some tote bags.
Rory: What tote bags?
Lorelai: We must have tote bags.
Rory: Where would we get tote bags?
Lorelai: Excuse me, every woman who's ever purchased seventy-five dollars worth of Clinique products has some tote bags.
Rory: We don't have tote bags.
Lorelai: How are we supposed to get this stuff out of here?

Taylor Doose: You don't have to yell, Luke.
Luke: You put a giant window in my wall.
Taylor Doose: So what?
Luke: A giant window! Right here! You can see my entire diner. And when I'm in my diner, I can see your whole stupid store.
Taylor Doose: I don't understand why yours is a diner and mine is a stupid store.
Luke: Look at this place! Look at you. All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood.

Sookie: So how was it, was it wonderful? I wanna hear everything you did and everything you ate. Oh, was it warm? I read it was warm. How was Barcelona? Did you see the Gaudí apartments? Did you see a bullfight? Did you see Anne Frank's house? Did you cry? Was Steven Speilberg there, huh? Hey, I hear you touched the Pope!

Lorelai: Bonjour, Luke. Pouvez-vous attacher vos chaussures?
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Uh... Hi, Luke. Do you know how to tie your shoes?
Luke: Very good.
Lorelai: Yeah. It came in handy, let me tell you. Not one shoelace fatality on my watch.

Luke: You have a good time?
Lorelai: Vos odeurs de chat.
Luke: What's that?
Lorelai: Your cat smells.
Luke: You must've been a big hit with the salon set.

Lorelai: Anyhow, we were in London and we ran into this group of girls who were heading to Ireland to stake out the Clarence Hotel.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because U2 owns it and Bono hangs out there.
Luke: Oh, him again.
Lorelai: So then we jumped on a train and we headed to Ireland - incredibly beautiful, by the way - and we sat in a bar for two days and did nothing but eat soda crackers and funky cheese and he never showed.
Luke: Que sera.

Luke: Fruits de la Terre. Very impressive.
Lorelai: It's handmade by this woman in Paris who has the most amazing story.
Luke: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah. Orphaned.
Luke: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: And illiterate.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Just had nothing in her life, you know, except this burning desire to be the world's greatest jamstress. And she's famous now and, you know, she only makes three bottles of that stuff a year and that's one of 'em, and I brought it all the way across the... I got it from Sookie's house.
Luke: No.
Lorelai: How did you know?
Luke: Just a wild guess.