‘Those Are Strings, Pinocchio’
Season 3, Episode 22 - Aired May 20, 2003
As Rory gets ready to graduate from Chilton, she looks forward to traveling Europe with Lorelai and then starting college. Meanwhile, Lorelai and Sookie's plans to open an inn are upended.
Quote from Kirk
Lorelai: You find any mold?
Kirk: You mean, did I find any silent death? Not so far, no.
Kirk: I did tell you about the dangers of mold, right? And Ed McMahon's dog?
Lorelai: Yes, you did.
Kirk: Suffered memory loss due to mold infestation. Forgot how to sit.
Lorelai: Yes, it was horrible.
Kirk: It's a growth industry right now, pardon the pun. Mold is money. I just wish I wasn't so scared of finding it.
Lorelai: Well, don't look too hard then.
Quote from Paris
Paris: Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.
Rory: Oh, good, thanks.
Paris: Sure. I actually googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians going back twenty-five years, and found some enlightening statistics. They don't necessarily do too well in later life, did you know that?
Paris: Oh, yeah. A lot of business failures, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity. A bunch died in car crashes, several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.
Rory: Okay, well, thanks again.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: I have a thought.
Taylor Doose: Go ahead, Kirk.
Kirk: A controlled hunt.
Kirk: Not guns, wolves.
Kirk: You release a pack of wolves, they eat the deer, problem solved. Of course, then you'll have to deal with your wolf problem.
Quote from Rory
Rory: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes, and seconds, and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who have been my mentors, so many people who have shaped my life and my fellow students' lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore.
Sookie: [to Lorelai] Hang in there.
Rory: My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.
Sookie: Not crying.
Lorelai: Crying a little.
Sookie: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying, no blubbering.
Rory: Thank you, Mom. You are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson: Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai: Not you, too.
Luke: I'm blubbering, you're freaks.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: And wuss patrol, halt.
Rory: I've never known such pain.
Lorelai: We are so not walking around Europe with those annoying things on our backs.
Rory: But we're backpacking through Europe. How're we gonna do this without backpacks?
Lorelai: But all the time we've talked about backpacking, I never actually pictured us with backpacks.
Rory: What were you picturing?
Lorelai: Spry, accommodating European men with neat mustaches trailing after us, carrying our luggage, hailing taxi cabs, constantly reminding us how beautiful we are.
Rory: No, it's just the two of us humping our backpacks around.
Quote from Michel
Michel: I hate this.
Sookie: One guest. In the whole inn, one guy.
Michel: And I pulled towel duty today. It's especially awful handling guest towels when you know exactly which guests the towels belong to. It's his mites on those towels.
Sookie: Don't be gross.
Michel: This is degrading for a man of my capabilities.
Quote from Sookie
Sookie: Well, what about me? I've got no kitchen. I'm a chef. My skills are deteriorating. I need to sauté, emulsify, marinate.
Michel: I need more mental stimulation.
Sookie: I need to frickin' fry a dead animal in a skillet. I'm going nuts.
Quote from Lane
Lane: Yes, and I'm still semi-grounded, so I only have a limited amount of time in the outside world.
Rory: Well, hurry and show me your prom pictures.
Lane: These are them.
Rory: Lane, how many did you take?
Lane: Three hundred. I'll leave them with you, they're pretty self explanatory.
Rory: What's this?
Lane: Our chicken piccata.
Rory: Ah, and this?
Lane: Our chicken piccata after one bite.
Rory: So, don't tell me, two bites? Okay, I think I can follow this.
Quote from Rory
Rory: So how are the old wedding plans?
Dean: They're fine.
Rory: You know, my mom's held about a million weddings at the inn and I've worked on a lot of them, so I'm a fountain of useful tips.
Rory: For instance, your photographer, have him take candid photographs along with the other ones, so that way you'll capture a lot of your favorite moments and you won't be stuck with just the stiff, you know, posed shots.
Dean: Candid, okay.
Rory: And if the ring bearer is younger than five years-old.
Dean: My nephew, he's three.
Rory: Don't give him the ring until the last second because I have seen many a ring swallowed, and... well, it takes a couple days to get it back.
Dean: Good point.
Quote from Rory
Dean: What's this?
Rory: Your wedding gift.
Rory: You can get anything you want, but I've marked a bunch of pages with stuff that I think would be most appropriate, and I just wanted to get in early so I'd be the first one to get you a blender, not the third one.
Dean: You don't have to do this.
Rory: I know. That's why it's fun.
Dean: This has everything.
Rory: I'd recommend the mixing bowls, those are really nice. Or a knife set and a sharpener. Sharpening's very important. I learned that from Sookie. If you leave 'em too long, it's too late. Respect your knives.