Jackson: So what do you think?
Sookie: About re-upping your lease?
Jackson: Yes.
Sookie: Well, you have a very nice kitchen.
Jackson: Yes. I know.
Sookie: And I like your living room, though that house across the street has sort of that creepy Miami Beach blue which means that during the day you really can't look out your window. But at night it's not so bad.

Lorelai: Know what's great about the festival?
Rory: No, what?
Lorelai: It always falls on the day after trash day. So everything you forgot to throw out, and would be stuck with for a week you can instead put in a pretty basket and auction off for charity.
Rory: That is wonderful.

Lorelai: I remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. Once I had a boy hidden in the closet. Of course Mom wouldn't leave. So I finally had to pretend to get sick to get her out long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. He fell. Broke his leg. Ah, to be young again.

Jess: Of all the nutty, barn-raising shindigs this town can cook up this one wasn't half bad.
Dean: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jess: I did. Shall we?
Dean: Shall we what?
Jess: Shall we go?
Dean: Go where?
Jess: Go eat.
Dean: Excuse me?
Jess: Person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket. Basket. Basket maker. Guy who didn't bring enough money.
Dean: You think this is funny?
Jess: Well, it's no Lenny Bruce routine, but it has its moments.

Dean: Bye, Jess.
Jess: Where you going?
Dean: You're going.
Jess: As soon as Rory's ready.
Dean: She's not going with you.
Jess: Is that true?
Dean: Yes, it's true.
Jess: Excuse me, Edgar Bergen, I'd like Charlie McCarthy to answer.
Dean: Shut up.

Rory: Please don't walk away like that.
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not feeling very John Cleese now.

Taylor Doose: I have $35 going once, $35 going twice. Sold to Kirk for $35.
Kirk: Yes. Finally. You know, if it hadn't been for me, I could have had it for $25.

Luke: Just buy your own basket.
Lorelai: I cannot buy my own basket.
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Because that is pathetic.
Luke: And chasing me around my diner, begging me to buy your basket?
Lorelai: Also pathetic, but that I can live with where that pathetic is truly pathetic-pathetic and only you can save me from the double pathetic. Please.
Luke: I can't believe I'm doing this.

Luke: What do we do now?
Lorelai: I guess we eat.
Luke: This?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: I have to buy and eat it?
Lorelai: The basket of botulism does come with my company.
Luke: You don't eat with your mouth open, do you?
Lorelai: Women don't eat at all. We just look at the food and jump on the treadmill.

Kirk: My mother didn't even make one for me.
Jackson: Well, that's very sad.
Kirk: She made one for my brothers and sisters, but not me.
Jackson: That's terrible, Kirk.
Kirk: Twelve brothers and sisters. The only one without a basket, me.
Jackson: Okay, Kirk, what's it gonna take?
Kirk: $250.
Jackson: You're kidding me!
Kirk: Twelve brothers and sisters.
Jackson: Will you take a check?
Kirk: With two forms of ID.
Jackson: I swear, you'd better be as pathetic as you sound.
Kirk: Oh, trust me.