‘The One with the Male Nanny’
Season 9, Episode 6 - Aired November 7, 2002
Ross is uneasy when Rachel hires a sensitive male nanny to look after Emma. Meanwhile, Chandler worries he is no longer the funniest man in Monica's life, and Phoebe is torn between Mike and her long-time flame David.
Quote from Ross
Sandy: I really understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's like leaving behind a piece of your heart.
Rachel: Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
Ross: Are you gay?
Rachel: Ross.
Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I'm engaged, actually. Her name's Delia.
Rachel: Oh, that's pretty.
Ross: So you're just, like, a guy who's a nanny.
Sandy: I realize how it's a bit unorthodox for some people. But I really believe the most satisfying thing you can do with your life is take care of a child.
Ross: Okay.
Sandy: Like at my last job. I met Daniel when he was three-weeks-old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person. When I left, I said, "I'll see you soon." And he said to me, "Skadandy?" That was his name for me. "I'll see you every day right in"... [sobbing]
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Oh, I love him, I love him, I love him.
Ross: Come on. Rach, he's a guy.
Rachel: So what? He's smart. He's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Because it's weird.
Rachel: Why?
Ross: What kind of a job is that for a man? A nanny? I mean, it's like if a woman wanted to be...
Rachel: Yes?
Ross: King?
Quote from David
Phoebe: Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, I am.
His name's Mike. I should've told you.
David: No. Well, yeah.
Phoebe: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
David: Well, it's okay. I understand. Well, are you happy with this guy?
Phoebe: I am happy.
David: Damn it. I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I want you to be happy. But only with me. No, that's not fair. Who cares. Leave him. I don't mean that. Yes, I do. I'm sorry. Um, I think I should probably go.
Phoebe: But, David, I just want you to know that, you know telling you this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
David: Well, just so you know hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival, either.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Is everything all right?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine. Sandy was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancee and it was so beautiful.
Sandy: Well, her favorite flower is the camellia. From the poem-
Rachel: I can't. I can't hear it again!
Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again.
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Do you realize that man has cried in our apartment three times? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Quote from David
Phoebe: No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
David: But it's nice. And nice is good. And good is not bad. Ergo, we should keep kissing.
Phoebe: No, no. No.
David: But ergo.
Quote from David
Phoebe: It's not as bad as it looks. I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
David: Uh, we just happen to wear the same shade.
Quote from Ross
Ross: How exactly is a 2-month-old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Sandy: Actually, studies have shown that the movement and colors help their cerebral development. The whimsical characters are just for us.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: That was kind of rude.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologize to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job.
Ross: You know what? I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there.