‘The One with Ross's Tan’
Season 10, Episode 3 - Aired October 9, 2003
Rachel and Joey nervously try to spend their first evening together as a couple. Meanwhile, Monica and Phoebe seek to avoid an obnoxious old friend, and Ross has a spray tan disaster.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall. How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? My eyes!
The same thing happened again!
Tanning Salon Guy: You got two more twos?
Ross: I'm an eight!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said when she called me? "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile." If you didn't wanna get me on my mobile, then don't call me on my mobile.
Quote from Chandler
Amanda: Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly.
Chandler: Well, aren't you a treat.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: That fake British woman's a real bitch, but she sure can dance.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Hold on. There's something different.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Chandler: Was that place the sun?
Quote from Ross
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy. You go in the booth, count to five and turn around.
Ross: How do you count to five?
Monica: One, two, three...
Ross: Damn it!
Quote from Phoebe
Amanda: Gosh, this is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again.
Monica: When were we not friends?
Phoebe: Well, it was 1992. And I remember, because that was the year I had sex with Evel Knievel.
Monica: We were friends in 1992.
Amanda: No, I distinctly remember you were dodging her calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Monica: You were going to cut me out?
Phoebe: Well, kind of.
Monica: Oh, my God!
Amanda: Oh, bugger. Should I not have said that? Urgh. I feel like a perfect arse.
Phoebe: Well, in America, you're just an ass.
Quote from Ross
Glenda: Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth and-
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time? Now, I want four two's, and I want them all on my back.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Hi, Amanda. Actually, now is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? Okay, Phoebe and I will see you then.
Phoebe: Why? Why? Why didn't you just say no?
Monica: Well, I said no to her coming over now. I couldn't say no twice. I've got this uncontrollable need to please people.
Phoebe: Fine. Fine. You would not hold up well under torture.
Monica: Oh, and you would?
Phoebe: I did.
Quote from Ross
Ross: One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three- Wait, wait! I'm not- I'm not finished counting!
You sprayed my front twice!
Tanning Salon Guy: You never turned?
Ross: No! I barely even got to "three Mississippi".
Tanning Salon Guy: Mississippi? I said count to five.
Ross: Mississippi-less-ly?