Faye: I have really got to run. I'm running late and I still have to call my friend at the museum to get tickets for that Seurat exhibit. I just hope it's not sold out.
Frasier: Well if it is, que seurat, seurat.
Faye: That was funnier the first time.
Frasier: Yeah.

Cassandra: Oh, you know, I'll just use the powder room. [exits]
Frasier: This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?
Faye: [enters] Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed.

Frasier: Morning.
Faye: Well, I guess I'll just be-
Frasier: Ssh!
Faye: What?
Frasier: Uh, we just noticed there's a nest of baby hummingbirds on the balcony. And we're just keeping our voices down. You run along.
Faye: Hummingbirds made it to the 19th floor?
Frasier: Yes, well, they're- they're Himalayan mountain hummers.
Faye: Uh huh.
Frasier: Very rare.

Niles: Got anymore hiding in the grotto, Hef?

Frasier: Oh, for God's sakes. Oh, I'm just not up to this sort of thing. What made me think I could juggle?
Martin: I sure as hell don't know. You couldn't catch a balloon 'til you were ten.
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Dad.

Frasier: You see, my problem is that each of them appeals to different sides of my personality. Faye is artistic and cerebral and cultured, and Cassandra is passionate and fun and spontaneous.
Martin: Well, my vote sure goes for Cassandra.
Daphne: Oh, you would say that. Any young woman who shows you any attention, you're ready to sign over your pension check.

Daphne: I think he should go for Faye.
Martin: Oh, Faye, Faye. If he wants some boring, artsy-fartsy conversation, he's got Niles.

Frasier: Yes, well my point is that I'm really torn here. I feel as if I honestly cannot choose.
Niles: I think I might be able to help you with this. Heads, it's Faye. Tails, Cassandra.
Daphne: Oh, this is the sort of thing that makes a woman feel really special.
Frasier: Niles, you're actually going to flip a coin? The decision cannot be made that simply.
Martin: Well, it's not going to be that simple. The chances of Niles catching that quarter are about the same as you...
Frasier: Enough, Dad.

Martin: I've got to hand it to you, Frasier. You had a tough decision to make, but you made it. Heck, I can't even decide whether to have the strawberry or the grape jelly.
Niles: Well, Dad, I still have my trusty quarter. Let's say heads, grape; tails, strawberry.
[Niles flips the coin. It hits him in the middle of his forehead, he falls to the ground, taking some of Frasier's objets with him.]
Martin: You've got to wonder what goes on, on that squash court.

Niles: So why was Faye at your apartment this morning?
Frasier: Well, actually I almost made a terrible mistake. Last night, I was prepared to break things off with her and then suddenly we fell into this marvelous conversation about architecture. And as it turns out, she detests the design of the Bilbao art museum as much as I do.
Niles: And you almost let her go.
Frasier: Yes, exactly.