Niles: Frasier, you really don't have to stay.
Frasier: Well, I didn't have to come at all. But if I hadn't, you never would have. Well, the office seems nice enough. Might have overdone it on the plants a little.
Niles: Yes, it's excess like this that's destroying the plastic rain forest.

Donny: Listen, could we just cut through the formalities here?
[Donny pulls down his sweatpants, leaving only his boxers on]
Niles: Uh, OK.
Donny: Niles, what you need is a guy like me representing you. What you're in here is a street fight, and you got to know who's covering your back.
[Donny wraps a towel around his waist, then removes his boxers]
Donny: So, what I guarantee you is this. You will never see me unprepared, you will never see me intimidated, and you will never, ever see me throw in the towel. You understand?
Frasier: Let's certainly hope not.

Niles: I can't possibly let this man represent me. I'll be humiliated.
Frasier: Niles, you have got to hear this man out. I'm sorry, this is exactly what you want in a lawyer. Someone who's not afraid to show a little moxie!
Niles: Oh, he's an inch away from showing us the full moxie.

Niles: Mr. Douglas, that was brilliant.
Frasier: Yes. My goodness, almost makes me wish I was still married to Lilith.

Martin: I still don't understand why they're deposing Frasier before Niles.
Donny: Oh, they like to question friends and family first so they can get as much "information" as they can to try and catch Niles out in a lie. Now, look, they're also going to allege that during the separation, Niles was wasteful with money.
Niles: Wha-? Oh, she's calling me wasteful?!
Donny: Mmm-hmm.
Niles: Do you recall what she used to do when one of our dogs needed a shampoo?
Frasier: Yes, she'd fill the bathtub with Evian.
Niles: Half the time she'd just get a new dog.

Donny: Maris's lawyers, they kill me. I mean, all week long it's been one desperate ploy after another. This one, this is the best one yet.
Frasier: Well, what is it?
Donny: Oh, now they're claiming "alienation of affection."
Martin: You're kidding me. After what she did?
Donny: Yeah, believe it or not, now they're saying that during the marriage, Niles was in love with another woman.
Daphne: Who?
Donny: Oh, you.
Daphne: Me?
Niles: Dear God!
Daphne: That's absurd! [to Frasier] Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?
Frasier: Well... not to the best of my recollection.

Daphne: Why on earth would they think Dr. Crane's in love with me?
Donny: Oh, something about a country club ball the two of you attended a few years back.
Niles: This is all based on that?
Donny: Yeah. You caused quite a stir on the dance floor, or something?
Daphne: Yeah, we were just putting on a show for his snobby friends.

Martin: Niles, now get a grip. Maris's people are just fishing. We're the only one's who know how you feel about Daphne.
Niles: Today. Tomorrow, everyone will know, including Daphne. And this is how she's going to find out. I wanted to whisper it to her over a candlelight dinner, not have it read back to her by a court stenographer.

Niles: Oh my God. I can't breathe. I can't breathe!
Frasier: Niles, here. Put your head between your legs. I'll get you some water.
Martin: Niles, you'll be all right. Just take a couple of deep breaths.
Niles: If I could take deep breaths it would mean I could breathe!

Frasier: Niles? Niles?
Niles: I'm over here.
Frasier: The piano, Niles. Please, please, just come out from under there. Things are not that bad.
Niles: Not that bad? Daphne is going to find out about this.
Martin: Not if you crawl out before she gets home.