Frasier: It is imperative that everyone play pianissimo during the spoken portions. Very, very softly. That applies particularly to brass and timpani.
Tiffany: Why me?
Frasier: To the drums, Tiffany.

Frasier: Now, I don't have to search you two for any hidden recording devices, do I? The last thing I need is some bootleg CDs flooding the marketplace.

Frasier: Oh, Kenny. Kenny, I'm so glad you made it. Listen, I think you're in for a bit of a surprise.
Kenny: Well, I gotta tell you, I don't surprise easily. [seeing the orchestra] Whoa.
Frasier: Our little ensemble. Heh-heh.
Kenny: So many musicians. All working on a weekend.

Frasier: Well, you see, that's fine as far as it goes, but this time I want you to do it with a bit more... grandeur. With some majesty and a soupcon of awe.
[The orchestra plays again. It sounds the same as before.]
Frasier: There, you see. That's what good conducting can do.

Frasier: Well, Kenny. What's your reaction?
Kenny: ... Wow.
Frasier: Takes your breath away, doesn't it?
Kenny: Wow.
Frasier: I thought as much. And in anticipation of your approval, I had the forethought to order in a little bubbly.

Kenny: Wow.
Martin: Well that was sure something, wasn't it?
Daphne: I'll say. Sort of like Gilbert and Sullivan, only frightening.

Kenny: A little jingle, that's all we wanted. Yeah, ten seconds to start the show.
Roz: Maybe Frasier can cut this down.
Kenny: He gives me harps and drums and... people speaking German. All we wanted was a simple little jingle.

Daphne: Probably more like the one you came up with. Tell him yours, Mr. Crane.
Martin: No, no, no. It was nothing. I can't even remember how it goes.
Daphne: Well, I do. [singing:]
How are you? I'm listen...
Martin: No, it doesn't go like that!
Kenny: Well, then you sing it, Mr. Crane.
Martin: Well, all right. But, you know, it's really nothing. [singing:]
What's new? I'm listenin'
Feelin' blue? I'm listenin'...
Feelin' sad, feelin' mad, feelin' bad, feelin' glad
I'm listenin'!
Kenny: That's exactly the kind of thing we're looking for.

Frasier: I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this.
Martin: Well, maybe you're just thinking too much. I mean, look at me. I go to the bathroom, I'm flossing my teeth, and that song pops into my head.
Frasier: Are you suggesting that I bring out a spool of floss?
Martin: Well, it might not be a bad idea. For a couple of reasons.

Martin: You know, just as an experiment, tell me what it is you're trying to say stripped down to nuts and bolts.
Frasier: All right. Um, in my first stanza, I want to represent myself as the ombudsman between the conscious and subconscious minds of my listeners.
Martin: Oh, well, there you are. That's the song right there. All we need is a rhyme for "ombudsman" and we can go to bed.
Frasier: Well, I was playing around with "north woodsman."