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The Two Mrs. Cranes

‘The Two Mrs. Cranes’

Season 4, Episode 1 -  Aired September 17, 1996

When Daphne's ex-fiance comes to Seattle, she tries to avoid breaking his heart again by pretending to be married to Niles.

Quote from Frasier

Daphne: Oh dear, it's him. Anything between me teeth?
Frasier: No.
Daphne: Do we have any spinach in the fridge?
Frasier: Just answer the door.

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Quote from Niles

Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, I was afraid you were Clive!
Niles: Clive? Oh, Clive. Oh, was that tonight? Oh, well don't I feel silly bringing over this 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle.
Frasier: I'm sure Daphne doesn't want us horning in on her reunion. We're going to dinner.
Niles: Well, can't we order in? I've already assembled one kitten and two yarn balls.

Quote from Daphne

Niles: I'm sorry, is this a bad moment?
Clive: Well, actually...
Daphne: No, no, not at all. This is my very dear old friend, Clive Roddy. Clive, I'd like you to meet Dr. Niles Crane... my husband.

Quote from Niles

Daphne: Could you spare me a minute? [begins to leave]
Niles: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Wait, you have to pay the love toll. [she kisses him on the cheek] Too much, here's your change. [kisses her back] [to Clive] Can you stay for dinner?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Daphne, you don't expect me to endure an entire evening of this nonsense.
Daphne: Just do this for me. And anything you want, name it. Anything, it's yours.
Frasier: Anything?
Daphne: ... Except Rattlesnake Ridge.
Frasier: Oh, Clive!
Daphne: All right. All right. I'll take him!

Quote from Niles

Niles: Oh, Daphne, we've been so remiss. We haven't even given Clive the tour.
Daphne: Oh yes, quite right. Well, this is the living room.
Niles: Well, I think he'll be more interested in the master bathroom. ... The shower being so large and Manchester being so rainy.

Quote from Niles

Daphne: Right this way.
Niles: Oh. Oh. You forgot to pay the toll.
Frasier: Niles!
Niles: Never mind.

Quote from Frasier

Roz: Here are your stupid opera glasses. Are we friends again?
Frasier: Darling! [Frasier throws his arms around Roz, he whispers in her ear:] You're Maris!
Roz: What?
Frasier: [whispering] We're married!
Roz: What?
Frasier: Play along!

Quote from Niles

Clive: So I took a few business courses and opened up a little sporting goods shop. Next thing you know I had three of them.
Daphne: Well, isn't this ironic. All these years I've nagged him to make something of himself. And now look at him, a captain of industry, and still as handsome as ever.
Niles: Yes, well, send in the clowns. [Frasier and Roz return from the balcony] Don't bother. They're here.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: Well, bad news, it seems my Maris has to run off. She's got a previous engagement.
Martin: Oh, forget about your engagement, Maris. Stay for dinner!
Frasier: Well, actually...
Roz: I'd love to.
Clive: Lovely. We can celebrate you two being reconciled.
Roz: That is still tentative. It could go either way.

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