Roz: Well, don't you have to meet Niles?
Frasier: Oh, he's had a tailoring emergency, it could be hours.

Frasier: How was the fishing trip?
Martin: Oh, it was great. The worst day of fishing beats the best day of working.
Frasier: Well, now that you've proven it, can we take the sign out of the bathroom?

Frasier: You know, with Niles spending more time with Daphne, I-I don't have anybody to pal around with. And he's a really interesting guy. He sails around the world, locating shipwrecks and salvaging treasure. God, you know, he tells some incredible stories. Yeah, it's refreshing, really. Usually I'm the cool friend.

Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello? Yes, this is Frasier Crane. What? I never touched your wife! Never. But I've never even heard of... Oh, Luke, you got me again. You know, that's six to one. I did so get one.

Daphne: Hey, Niles.
Niles: Hello, my love.
Daphne: Oh I'm sorry, I must look a mess. I've been cleaning fish all afternoon.
Niles: Oh please, your beauty cannot be obscured by mere entrails, or scales, or... is that an eye?
Daphne: I'll go wash up. [gives him a kiss]
Niles: If you like.

Martin: If I wanted him in a kennel I would have put him in one myself.
Niles: Well, Dad, uh, I'm sorry.
Martin: Well, so am I. Come on, Eddie, I'll give you a bath. Who knows what you picked up in that flea trap.
Niles: Well, it was a lot nicer than that place you made us stay at Yellowstone.

Frasier: Oh, hi, Roz.
Roz: I need a drink and I need it fast.
Frasier: I'll get the sherry.
Roz: Don't waste your time. I've got grown-up problems.

Frasier: Ah, the twenty-five year-old Glenfarclas. Excellent choice. No sense going for the twelve-year old stuff.

Frasier: Well, I had a talk with Roz.
Luke: Oh, I see. Well, look, if it makes any difference, that woman was an old girlfriend. She came to town, invited me to lunch, we ordered martinis, and the next thing you know, she was all over me. You know how it is.
Frasier: Of course, I mean...

Luke: Thanks for your advice. I, uh, I started writing down some of those stories.
Frasier: Oh?
Luke: Yeah, I wrote the one about the pirates, and the South American one.
Frasier: Oh great, don't forget the one about the giant squid.
Luke: That was just a joke.
Frasier: [laughs] Gosh, you did it again, didn't you?