Cora: Good morning.
Martin: Good morning. Is he still asleep?
Cora: I just heard his alarm so we have to hurry.
Martin: I can't believe we're doing this. It's so mean.
Cora: I know. Isn't it great?
[Cam enters his living room, walks to the front door and collects his paper. As he turns back, Cora and Martin emerge from the bedroom area]
Cora: Good morning, Sweetheart.
Martin: Oh, hello, Cam.
Cam: Hi.
Martin: Oh, flip you for the sports page. Oh, I don't have a quarter. I'll just get my pants.

Frasier: Daphne! Daphne! Daphne!
[Frasier enters the living room as Martin and Cora quickly take their seats at the table]
Frasier: Da- Dr. Winston.
Martin: Morning.
Cora: Morning.
Frasier: Yes. Good morning. How did this... How did you... sleep?
Martin: Like a couple of logs.
Cora: More like two baby kittens curled up in a tight fuzzy ball.
Martin: [laughing] God, you're cute. Isn't she, Frasier?

Frasier: What the hell is going on?
Martin: What does it look like?
Frasier: Dad, are you crazy? She's a Winston! She's probably just leading you on so she can break your heart. That's exactly the kind of thing Cam would do to hurt me.

Martin: Boy, you know, I finally find a woman I like, and who seems to like me, and all you can think about is your stupid feud.
Frasier: I'm just a little surprised. I didn't realize things were going so fast.
Martin: Well, then it's a good thing you found out, because things could get more serious. A lot more serious.
Frasier: What does that mean?
Martin: Well, let's just say, I wouldn't mind having a stepson.
Frasier: Dad, now you're just provoking me, aren't you? Dad? Dad! Are you?

Frasier: Oh, terrific. Here comes Niles on his fabulous "showing up Frasier" contraption. All he wants is attention, so don't give him any.
Niles: Greetings, foot people. How are things back in the 20th Century?

Roz: Wow. That looks like fun.
Niles: Fun? Well, I suppose it is. I never really thought about it. You see, the Segway is more of a productivity tool.
Roz: Do you think I could...
Niles: No, go away.
Roz: It's not the only tool.

Frasier: I guess we'll never really see eye to eye, but I am resolved to put aside our differences for the sake of our parents.
Cam: For the sake of our parents. Where are they anyway?
Frasier: Downstairs watching Court TV.
Cam: Ah. It's all about romance with you Cranes, isn't it?

Cam: Fine. I will arrange an introduction to my sweater weaver.
Frasier: Good. Thank you.
Cam: But, then I must insist on the formula to your bath blend.
Frasier: [pained look, takes a sip of a drink] I think we were closer on an earlier draft.
Cam: Concur.

Daphne: Hey, Niles. That Truffaut film you like is playing down at the La Salle.
Niles: Oh. Sounds tempting. But the people behind me wouldn't be able to see.
Daphne: I guess we'll stay in, then. I'm going to go take a bath. It's too bad you have to stay on that. I could use a third, and a fourth hand.
Niles: Uh, wait! Daphne, Daphne, Daphne... [Niles finally dismounts the Segway] There we go. You wait there, I'll light the candles.
[As Niles runs to the bathroom, Daphne heads for the Segway]
Daphne: So long, sucker.

Frasier: On the contrary. Cam and I are here to announce the cessation of all hostilities between us. We are officially friends.
Cam: As defined by the treaty. [They shake hands.]
Cora: Well, that means a lot to us.
Cam: Oh, I think it's safe to say that we've entered a whole new era of coopera- [After glancing at one of Frasier's knickknacks] Did you get that at Mueller's Antiques?
Frasier: Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did. It represents a great triumph for me. You see, I snatched it from under the nose of another collector who had actually put a...
Cora: You were saying, it's a new era of cooperation. How wonderful. You should celebrate. The two of you should go to the symphony tonight.
Cam: But I thought you and I were going.
Cora: I'm going to stay here with Martin.
Frasier: Well, I suppose.
Cora: Well, then you'd better hurry. Cam likes to pre-order his intermission cocktail.
Frasier: Oh. You mean you don't have a standing order? Well, we'd better hurry, then. We'll take my car.
Cam: I've seen you drive. We'll take mine.
Frasier: What, your Humvee? I think not.
Cam: Not in front of the parents, Crane.