Martin: Mike ran a check on Maris's credit cards, there's been a whole bunch of charges in New York.
Niles: Oh, God. She's been kidnapped. Someone's using her credit cards.
Martin: [on the phone] Yeah, O.K., slow down. Armani... Valentino... Cartier... Tiffany...
Niles: Any restaurants?
Martin: Any restaurants? [to Niles] Not a one.
Niles: She's alive!

Daphne: Oh look, your brother left us a note.
Frasier: "Dear Dad, Frasier, & Daphne. When you wake up this morning I'll be gone. Thank you for all your help,
but I don't want to be a burden any longer."
Daphne: You don't think... No, I'm sure this is all completely harmless.
Martin: Yeah, my gun's still locked up. And the door to the balcony's closed...
Frasier: And we all know that Daphne's Shepherd's Pie is still in the refrigerator.

Martin: [on the phone, describing Maris] Uh, thin. Make that very thin. Caucasian. Very Caucasian.

Frasier: Uh, excuse me? She's been missing for three days and you're just panic-stricken now?
Niles: I only just realized. The last two nights, I- I knocked on Maris's bedroom door to wish her goodnight and I was greeted with a chilly silence, so naturally I assumed everything was status quo.

Niles: So I told her, "Maris, you were inconsiderate, and when you are ready to apologize, I can be reached at Frasier's!" Then I stormed out and slammed the door. Of course, it was that fourteenth-century Bavarian cathedral door, so I had to get two of the servants to help me slam it. But what it lacked in spontaneity it made up for in resonance.

Frasier: Don't ignore me, Marta!
Marta: Go away!
Frasier: Let me in, I need to speak with Mrs. Crane!
Marta: Missy Crane say, no you Dr. Crane, no other Dr. Crane, and no Crane with a cane!

Frasier: One thought. Seek help. Niles, you've just been through a very traumatic experience here and you are deep in denial here. You are going through some very extreme emotions right now, and rather than feeling them, you're denying they even exist.
Niles: I'm not denying my feelings. I'm so in tune with my emotions that I was able to move through them quickly. In fact, I've logged them all in my journal. Let's see, where are we? Here...
"5 am: Blissful confusion. Something's happened, but what?"
"5:01: Ah, yes. An overwhelming sense of emptiness and despair."
"5:07: " - This one's hard to read. Oh, right! - "Wept uncontrollably."
"6:15: All cried out. Hungry now. Ate entire box of Frosted Flakes, they're gr-r-r-reat!"
So don't you tell me I'm not in touch with my emotions!
Martin: "9:45: get out the butterfly net."

Noel: Hi, Dr. Crane. Could you sign this petition someone "anonymously" posted in the lunchroom? It's to the
talented producers of "Star Trek," suggesting a new character.
Frasier: "The all-powerful space vixen Rozalinda, four-breasted queen of the planet Rozniak!" I'll sign that.
Roz: Frasier!
Frasier: Well, Roz, television will never improve unless the viewers speak out.

Daphne: Any news, Dr. Crane?
Niles: No, no, I asked the neighbors if they'd seen any strange cars in the neighborhood. One reported spotting something called a "minivan." ... But that was weeks ago.

Frasier: You must be exhausted, Niles. Why don't you call it a day and get some rest, huh?
Niles: Do you have a blanket for me?
Martin: Oh. Now, Niles, you've been going through a rough time lately, you're not sleeping on any couch. You can sleep in Frasier's bed.
Frasier: What?
Niles: You're sure it wouldn't be too much trouble?
Martin: No trouble.
Niles: I wouldn't want to impose.
Martin: No, don't worry about it, you're family.
Niles: Thank you.
Frasier: Well, that was very generous of you.