Niles: Don't touch! The smallest smudge decreases its value.
Frasier: Oh, Niles, guess what thriving Seattle night spot is closing its doors.
Niles: Roz, you're moving.
[Roz takes Niles' rare book and licks the cover]

Frasier: Niles, tonight let's go to Orsini's for one glorious farewell dinner.
Niles: Why not? I'll make the reservations. We'll take Dad and Daphne.
Frasier: Great. Will Maris be joining us?
Niles: Oh, sadly no. She had a bad experience there one Christmas Eve. An Italian soccer team was at the next table. Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose and, perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued.

Frasier: Now, for those of you who are leaving, please keep us in mind for your next special occasion. We plan many new and exciting innovations in the weeks to come. [A car smashes through the wall. The customers scream.] Starting with our ... our drive-through window.
Otto: Number twenty-three is ready.

Frasier: All right, stop it. Get a grip. You're not being asked to do anything that none of us hasn't done before in our own kitchens in our own homes. Now quick, Niles, kill five eels.

Martin: Man, those eels are starting to stink.
Niles: Dad, for an hour you've been circling us like a shark. Why don't you just give us your little speech and get on with it?
Martin: Hey, come on, I know you guys. You're gonna punish yourselves enough without me chiming' in.
Frasier: Thanks.
Niles: Appreciate it.
Martin: Hey, I'm your dad. [answering the phone] Hello, Happy Brothers Restaurant. Table for two? Yeah,
no problem. Smoke-damaged or non-smoke-damaged?

Niles: You know, Frasier, Dad has a point. A lot of people have lost a lot of money in this business for one reason: they picked the wrong name.
Frasier: True, Niles, but I've got something very special. I was thinking about this while Dad was talking. "Maison Crane." Oh, God, you're right, it's a little too obvious.
Niles: We want our name to be inviting and welcoming. Oh, oh, what's the word for "lighthearted" in French?
Frasier: There isn't one.

Niles: Frasier, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frasier: I'm picking out china and sandblasting the wine cave.
Daphne: Owning a restaurant is hard work. If you don't scald yourself or lop off a finger with a cleaver, you spend your whole time gagging at grease fires, killing rats and brawling with labor racketeers. Me auntie had a little tea room.

Niles: Well, instead of individual soufflés, bake one large soufflé and dish the portions out at the table. When people hear the name Niles Crane, I want them to think "big soufflé."

Roz: Gil, why is Orsini's closing?
Gil: Well, the owner's getting old, he wants to sell. And just between us, I'm afraid Orsini's a bit like wine that's
stayed too long in the cellar. It retains only memories of its former glory.
Frasier: Not comping your check anymore?
Gil: Not for months now.

Martin: Wait a minute! Don't tell me you two are seriously considering doing a dumb-ass, idiotic thing like buying this place?
Frasier: With all due respect, Dad, we are not exactly neophytes in this field. We know food, we know wine.
Niles: Lord knows we have style, taste and refinement.
Martin: You see, that's what always gets you guys in trouble. You don't think about the hard work or the long hours. No, to you, owning a restaurant is just wearing fancy clothes, hobnobbing with your friends and turning your enemies away at the door.
Niles: I hadn't even thought about that!