Martin: You got something on your mind?
Daphne: It's Joe. Tonight's our six-month anniversary, but we can't celebrate until next week because he's flying to Las Vegas with his buddies.
Martin: Oh, Vegas, huh? Great! Tell him not to miss the show at the Diamond Lounge: a Topless History of the World. If they've still got the same Bathsheba he's in for a real treat.
Daphne: Oh yes, that's just where I want Joe spending our anniversary, some smutty show in Vegas.
Martin: It's very tasteful and historically accurate. Except at the end, where Eleanor Roosevelt and Eva Braun settle World War Two by wrestling in pudding.

Frasier: Niles, what was that all about?
Niles: I'm not sure. But, oh, mama, it was glorious. Blood pounding, sarcastic zingers flying.
Frasier: Are you saying you that enjoyed fighting with Daphne?
Niles: Every exhilarating moment. It was pure, unbridled passion! I think I still have some of her spittle on my forehead. Oh, why did Dad ever tell us not to fight with girls? It's wonderful! The friction between us-
Frasier: Niles, is this going to be a long description?
Niles: Very!
Frasier: Walk and talk.

Roz: If anybody says anything bad about me, I'll kill myself.

Frasier: Now, Roz, relax. We do a perfectly good show. We're not going to change it one iota. Only a fool would listen to the opinion of every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Man #1: I liked everything about it.
Frasier: On the other hand, it's good to keep an open mind.

Leader: Manu, I notice you've been quiet. Uh, do you have something to say?
Manu: Me? No.
Leader: We'd like to hear your opinion of the program.
Manu: Well, it- I don't know. Something about- I don't like it.
Frasier: Well, who is this cheeky nonconformist?

Roz: My God, Frasier, this is a love-fest! I can't believe we were even worried about it.
Frasier: "I just don't like him." Hmm...

Bulldog: Hey, sports fans. How's it going in here?
Frasier: Bulldog, I thought they were testing your show across the hall?
Bulldog: Oh, yeah, they are. But after ten minutes it's just the same-old, same-old. Guys love me, chicks pretend not to. Whoa! Your group's even uglier than mine.

Daphne: Hello, Dr. Crane.
Niles: Oh, there's the British bobcat.
Martin: Now, look, she's still a little bit over the edge about this Joe thing. So you better watch your step or you're gonna have a repeat of this morning.
Niles: We wouldn't want that, would we? Chips, Daphne? Was that wise?
Daphne: What do you mean?
Niles: You know what they say, "many chips make for chubby hips." Waddle, waddle, waddle.
Martin: Have you lost your mind?!
Daphne: Oh, no, no, I'm glad if I put on a few pounds. Now maybe Joe will stop nagging me to plump up!

Martin: Hey, Fras, how was the focus group?
Frasier: Fine, I guess.
Martin: Oh, well, you said yourself they didn't mean anything.
Frasier: Yes, well, it's one thing to say that. It's another to sit there being personally attacked. One man actually said, "I just don't like him."
Niles: Only one? ... I'm healing with humor. I'll stop now.

Daphne: I'm sure someone must have said something nice.
Frasier: Oh, all the other eleven had nothing but high praise.
Martin: Eleven out of twelve liked you? You should be thrilled. F.D.R. didn't have that kind of approval rating.
Daphne: Yes, or Churchill for that matter.
Niles: Churchill. That cigar-chomping gin blossom with a face attached!
Daphne: You're right about that. There's a kiss hello to put you off your tea.