Martin: For God's sake, Frasier, you're forty-one years old. It's time you learned something: the system ain't perfect. Sometimes the bad guy wins. And all those things you thought would be around to help you, the courts and the police department? Well, sometimes they're just not there when you need them. So you can either let it eat a hole in your stomach, or you can just file it away under the heading, "Sometimes Life Sucks."
Frasier: Yeah? Well, that file's getting pretty thick.

Roz: Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, hello.
Roz: You may not remember me, I'm-
Niles: Of course I remember you. Would you be a love and watch that man with the cane?

Frasier: My God, Roz, she's the preeminent Neofauvist of the twentieth century! How could you put her on hold?
Roz: Well, the phone rang and I pushed the little button-

Niles: Enchanting, just enchanting.
Frasier: My God, Niles, why is no-one eating the mussoline of duck?
[Eddie hops onto the chair and starts eating it]
Frasier: Oh, you mangy little cur!
Niles: Well, now we know why.

Frasier: Look, Niles, the dog is eating the food, the pianist is too intrusive, the Pinot Noir is far too stagy and it's five past seven and Martha isn't even here yet!
Niles: I'm not going to have to sedate you, am I?

Frasier: Oh, hi, Roz, it's you. And you look radiant!
Roz: I look like crap. I've got a spot on my dress, I over-plucked one eyebrow, and the crotch of my pantyhose is creeping down to my knees.
Frasier: Couldn't you have just done that on the elevator? [Frasier takes Roz's coat] Oh, my goodness, Roz, you've got a neck!

Frasier: Dad, dad, please!
Martin: Alright, alright, but stop shadowing me. I don't need a nursemaid.
Frasier: Alright, if you give me your word, that's good enough for me. [to Niles] Watch him!

Martha Paxton: Dr. Crane? I'm Martha Paxton.
Frasier: Of course. Who else could you be?

Niles: Dr. Niles Crane. It's an hon our to shake your hand. [Niles shakes her poncho] Well, to shake anything of yours is an honor.

Frasier: I think this is the perfect spot for an ideal viewing. Oh God, I've waited so long for this moment, I'm just going to stand back and let you describe your work - "Elegy in Green"— in your own words. The way you insinuate the palette but never lean on it, you capture the zeitgeist of our generation. It is the most perfect canvas it has ever my privilege to gaze upon. I mean, one can only imagine what inspired you to paint it.
Martha Paxton: I didn't paint it.
Frasier: Of course you didn't. You- You created it, you gave birth to it.
Martha Paxton: I didn't do anything to it. I never saw this painting before in my whole life.
Martin: And you thought I was gonna embarrass you!