Lilith: We can't blink first, we've got to up the ante.
Frasier: Good idea, Lilith. You know what? Let's go in there and promise him the baby brother he'll never have!

Frederick: I'm going to go call my friends. I love you. [exits]
Lilith: I don't understand, I was so sure.
Frasier: Oh gee, don't be so tough on yourself, Lilith. After all, what parent doesn't at one time or another completely obliterate their child's chances of ever trusting another human being?

Roz: Hey. Morning, Fras.
Frasier: Hi, Roz. Roz, is baby Alice dressed as a little turkey or am I just very, very hungry?

Roz: We're flying home for Thanksgiving right after the show. I thought I'd make Alice look as cute as possible so if she cries on the plane, the other passengers can't get mad. Actually, what I like to do is keep her awake so she'll sleep on the plane.
Frasier: You know, you should just do what I used to do. I used to tell the passengers that if Frederick cried, I'd buy them all a drink.
Roz: And that worked?
Frasier: Oh, yes. In fact, one time I awoke from a short nap, and the fellow sitting behind us was flicking the back of Frederick's little ear. Of course, that was cheating, and the man did not get his drink.

Niles: I trust your flight was uneventful?
Lilith: Up, down, bumpy over the mountains.
Niles: Isn't that always the way?
Frasier: Lilith is joining us for dinner, Niles.
Niles: What a nice surprise.
Lilith: It certainly is for me.
Niles: Well, not as nice as it is for me.
Frasier: Oh, stop it, both of you. I refuse to spend the day listening to your stilted chatter.

Martin: Could you just once cook a traditional Thanksgiving meal? I mean, look at this cranberry sauce. It's supposed to keep the shape of the can, quiver a little bit. What are all these little chunks in there?
Daphne: Those are cranberries.

Niles: Dad, here you are. One frozen pumpkin pie as requested.
Daphne: Honestly, wouldn't you rather I just bake a pie from scratch?
Martin: Is it that you can't learn or you won't learn?

Daphne: Beautiful job carving that turkey, Dr. Crane.
Niles: Well, I picked up a thing or two in medical school. In case you're wondering, this bird appears to have died of a massive head trauma.

Martin: What makes you think she's coming on to you?
Frasier: Well, actually Frederick told me. But, you know, it actually makes sense. I mean, this colleague of hers gets mysteriously ill and then she lassoes me into writing this article with her and then all of a sudden before I know it, the bun is off and she's waggling her bare shoulder at me.
Martin: Oh, please. Some of us just had a big meal.

Frasier: Then again, maybe I've just made this whole thing up in my head. Tell you what, Dad. Take a minute and then come back in. See what you think's going on in there, then find some subtle way to tell me what you think.
Martin: All right, okay. Just give me a minute.