‘The Ann Who Came to Dinner’
Season 11, Episode 13 - Aired January 13, 2004
When Frasier learns that the house insurance has expired, he invites Ann, with whom he had an awful date, to his apartment to arrange coverage. Unfortunately, she has an accident in the kitchen while Frasier is still uninsured.
Quote from Frasier
Ann: So, this is kind of weird, huh?
Frasier: Yes, I hope that you're being here means that you've forgiven me?
Ann: Well, I was pretty steamed after that date, but my shrink helped me work through the rage. Good thing you didn't walk in front of my car on the street for the first few weeks or I would've just gotten out and given you a good kick.
Frasier: Yes, and I would've deserved one, too.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Can I get you something to drink?
Ann: Oh, just a glass of water. But I'll get it, I want to see your kitchen. [entering the kitchen] Wow! Shmancy! And so clean. You know, there's a homosexual couple that lives in my building and their kitchen is like a pigsty compared to yours. Whoops, spoke too soon. Somebody dripped a little bit of mayona... argh! [clattering sound]
Frasier: Ann?
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Ann, listen. Dad and I were just talking. We thought maybe you should just stay at our place, until you get used to your crutches.
Ann: Really?
Frasier: Sure. That's what friends do.
Ann: Thanks. Well, I'll call my super and have him send over some clothes and my trumpet and we're good to go.
Frasier: You play the trumpet?
Ann: Oh, I just started. It's really hard.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Dammit, Frasier, I just walked in on your insurance lady taking a sponge bath.
Frasier: Dear God. Which sponge?
Martin: The small one.
Quote from Frasier
Martin: It's been the longest two days of my life.
Frasier: Well, what do you think, it's been a vacation for me? I have cooked her meals, I have massaged her feet. I have also wildly applauded her trumpet rendition of "Froggy Went A-Courtin'". But I have won her over. There will be no discussion of a lawsuit tomorrow when I send her a-packin'.
Quote from Martin
Niles: Brace yourself, I have finally gotten around to returning your escargot clamps.
Frasier: Oh, thank you Niles.
Martin: Oh, that's what those are. I've been using 'em to pull ticks off Eddie's coat.
Quote from Martin
Ann: Oh, I forgot to lock that door. Your dad sure got an eye full.
Frasier: Yes, uh, bumbling old man. I'm terribly sorry.
Ann: Well, no birthday gift for him this year. He's had it. [laughs]
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Well, wait 'til you see what I've made you for dinner tonight. Your favorite, mac and cheese with sliced hot dogs.
Ann: Oh, you keep pampering me this way, it'll be hard for me to go home next month.
[A clattering sound is heard from the kitchen]
Frasier: Next month?!
Ann: Well, let's cross our fingers. My bones tend to knit slowly.
[Martin walks out of the kitchen with a concerned look on his face.]
Frasier: Uh, aren't you afraid to leave your apartment unattended for an entire month?
Ann: No problem. I just sub-let it this morning to a girl from work. If she chips so much as one of my porcelain piggies, I'll sue her six ways to Sunday!
Martin: [to Frasier as they go to the kitchen] If you want to beat her to death with one of her crutches, I can show you how to make it look like an accident.
Quote from Frasier
Ann: You! Alaska!
Frasier: Oh, the tickets arrived.
Ann: You bet they did. I just called my mother and she's thrilled.
Frasier: Well, I'd hoped she would be.
Ann: She can't believe that you're taking me to Alaska!
Frasier: You told her I was taking you?
Ann: Don't worry, I told her your intentions were honorable. [whispering] But they better not be.