[Entering the apartment with the pedals and crank of a bicycle]
Gertrude: Oh, let's see the little sod get to school without these. Oh, this should settle it.

Martin: Oh, jeez, Fras, this is the fourth time through. Can somebody else play Bulldog now?
Frasier: Dad, you said you would help me with this.
Martin: Well, that's because you said we were gonna do a practical joke. I thought it would be fun.
Frasier: Whatever gave you that idea?

Frasier: Todd, I am getting "dead" from you. But I am not getting "undead."
Todd: Still?

Frasier: Let's try this then. After rehearsal, I want each of you to write a paragraph detailing who your character was when he or she was alive, how they died, and why they're now after Bulldog's brain.

Frasier: Honestly, Roz, you know, you haven't given me much to work with here. These are the worst actors I've ever seen.
Roz: Well, I'm sorry, but the Royal Zombie Company just left town with its all-zombie production of "Hamlet".

Martin: How many more times are we going to do this?
Frasier: Why is it that whenever Bulldog pulls off a practical joke, you all applaud him, as if he'd won some sort of bowl or cup or other sports dish? But when I ask you to give up a single Sunday, all I get is complaints?
Martin: Well, because you keep turning it into work. This is supposed to be fun. Like a day at the beach. Oh, you do this kind of thing all the time.
Frasier: Like when?
Martin: Well, the last time we went to the beach.
Frasier: A lot of people bring rakes.

Frasier: Are you saying that you think I can't pull this off?
Roz: Oh, I wouldn't put it that way.
Martin: I would.
Frasier: But I've worked this out to the last detail, nothing can go wrong.
Roz: Everything's gonna go wrong. For one thing, Bulldog's gonna know something's up, 'cause Kenny hardly ever makes him work at night. And then look at all these cameras and all these wires, I mean, what if he spots these?
Martin: And the zombies, as soon as he sees them he's gonna know it's a prank, because he just pranked you. And there are no such things as zombies!

Frasier: [to Martin] You, sir... are released! [to Roz] And you as well! I'll pull this thing off by myself, proving you don't know what you're talking about. I don't need any of you. Wait, zombies, I do need you. But no one else.
I'll show all of you. You mark my words, tomorrow night I get my revenge!
[Thunder cracks, smoke appears]
Frasier: Ah, good, the effects machine's working again.

Frasier: Todd, take off that baseball cap. You're undead, not uncouth.

Frasier: All right, apology accepted. You may observe, in silence. Make yourselves comfortable. And prepare to witness a man brought to the very edge of madness!
Martin: [to Roz] I think he's already there.