Frasier: You see, I pride myself on being able to communicate with just about anybody, and I couldn't even be honest with you.
Mary: Oh, it's not that easy. You didn't want to disappoint me, I understand. If you don't like the show the way it is right now then that comes first. Like Grandpa Willie used to say, "If the shoe don't fit then that ain't your shoe."
Frasier: You know, as much as I've come to loathe Grandpa Willie, that does actually make me feel a little better.
Mary: You know, I'll let you in on a little secret. All those expressions? I made them up myself.

Mary: I'll give you another reason not to feel so bad about all this. Today, KPXY offered me my own show. I'm going to be just fine on my own.
Frasier: Mary, that's wonderful news. So, you forgive me?
Mary: Well, I think you could have been honest with me. Then again, if you'd told me to be quiet then I'd be back at the bakery. Instead, I've got this brand-new career and this afternoon I'm shopping for cars. So I guess what I'm saying is... God bless your guilty white ass! Okay?

Mary: Looky here, Tony. You're thirty-five years old. Now, your parents only had you for the first eighteen, so if you want to start blaming someone, maybe you need to blame yourself. Okay? Okay!
Frasier: Actually, chronic rage problems usually stem from childhood...
Mary: Oh, Dr. Crane, we're all out of time.
Frasier: So we are. Well then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, saying goodbye Seattle, and good mental health. [goes to press the button]
Mary: And tune in tomorrow!

Frasier: You know, we have a couple of minutes before the show, so listen, tell me a little bit about yourself. How did you get interested in broadcasting?
Mary: Well, after I got laid off from the bakery, I guess I had some free time. So I took a few different night school courses and when I got to the one in radio, it all clicked.
Frasier: Oh, well, you know, isn't that funny? You know, I had almost exactly the same experience. I first discovered psychiatry in Dr. Bagley's epidemiology seminar at Harvard.
Mary: Except I bet you didn't walk though a metal detector to get to class.
Frasier: No, no. But, you know, I did have to pass under a dangerously unbalanced portrait of Alfred Adler in the Rotunda.
Mary: We are practically separated at birth.

Frasier: Gabe, you must remember that compulsive shopping is an addiction. There are no simple solutions.
Mary: Oh, I've got one. Cut those credit cards up right now. Okay? Okay!
Gabe: "Thanks, Dr. Mary."
Frasier: You know, I hate to be a stickler here, Gabe, but as Mary would be the first to point out, she is not a doctor.
Mary: Oh, I don't mind. Oh, call me Dr. Mary. You know, Latifa's not a real Queen, right? Oh, you know what, doll babies, we're all out of time for today.
Frasier: So we are. Well then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane...
Mary: ...and Dr. Mary!
Frasier: Saying goodbye Seattle and... good mental health. [Frasier instantly presses the button to end the broadcast]

Mary: Oh, I'll tell you what you do. You snap out of it. You know why you're afraid to get married? You think there's some roomful of hootchie-mamas out there that's waiting for you, in case you don't want to do the right thing. Let me tell you something, the only thing you're missing out on is a lot of cold and lonely nights and I tell you what, there's not one person out there that would disagree with me on that.
[in the producer's booth:]
Louise: I do! I don't think he deserves that girl and if he's not man enough to take that leap of faith then she's better off without him!
Mary: Louise, is you trippin'? Girl...

Niles: Hello, Daphne.
Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, you're in a good mood today.
Niles: Hmm-mm. After six long weeks I have finally received my yellow belt.
Daphne: Oh, aren't you lucky? I ordered some more Capri pants two months ago and I'm still waiting.

Kenny: So, you and Mary. What do you think of her? Be honest.
Frasier: Well, I genuinely like her. She's delightful and dedicated.
Kenny: And...?
Frasier: Well, em, she does have a tendency to just sort of jump right in there whenever she likes. You know, and frankly, her method of solving problems is totally different than mine.
Kenny: Yeah, I'm nuts about her too. The contrast between you guys, that's what gets things crackling. I always thought that your show was the gold standard of radio shrink chatter. But this last week has been even better.
Frasier: You think so?
Kenny: Absolutely. In fact, the boys upstairs would like to make you two a permanent team. Oh, who am I kidding? There are no boys upstairs. I just love this show! [imitating Mary] Okay?

Frasier: Thank you for your call, Jill. Well, Chuck, who else is on the line?
Chuck: Weww, Dr. Cwane, we have Winda on wine fwee who bewieves peopew are waffing at hew.
Frasier: .... Maybe we can just come back to that one, shall we?
Chuck: All wightey.