Martin: Oh, Fras, how did the show go?
Frasier: It was very educational. Today, Mary taught us how to manipulate our husbands... by withholding sex. And she taught us how to lie to our children about the past.
Martin: Boy, that Dr. Mary sure goes on and on.
Frasier: For the last time, she is not a doctor. No matter how many times she refers to herself as one. "A cat can have kittens in the oven but that don't make 'em biscuits!" ... Dear God, now I'm quoting Grandpa Willie.

Roz: Why did I ever decide to redecorate my bathroom? They give you about a thousand decisions to make. After a while, you can't even tell the colors apart.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, perhaps my discerning decorative eye can be of some assistance, let me see here.
[Frasier arranges the color cards on the table]
Frasier: This one's Ecru, that's Eggshell and this, of course, is Navajo White.
Roz: Very good, Frasier. Now, let's see how you do on the color side.

Frasier: Just exactly how would that go? Why don't you play me and I'll be Mary.
Niles: All right. Uh, Mary?
Frasier: Frasier.
Niles: I've been meaning to speak to you. You know, people listen to the show for my expertise.
Frasier: Oh, so my opinion's not worth anything?
Niles: Well, I'm the one with the medical degree. Now, I want you to contribute, but only up to a point.
Frasier: So, you want me to stay in my place, massa!
Niles: She's not going to say "massa"...
Frasier: [adopting the gestures associated with the stereotype of a sassy African-American woman] What, am I getting too uppity for you? You sherry-swelling, opera-loving, Armani-wearing elitist. You have no idea how difficult it is for a black woman in a white man's world!
Niles: Frasier...
Frasier: I don't think so!