Niles: No, no, no, this is for kickboxing, I finally reached yellow belt, Dad.
Martin: He-hey, what do you know? I'm proud of ya. No, come here. [high fives Niles]
Niles: You know, it requires a lot of talent. You have to have timing and balance, the ability to strike and instantly retreat.
Martin: So you kick them and then run away?
Niles: Yes.

Niles: Oh, speaking of golf, dad, I've become quite the sportsman myself. [hands him certificate] What do you think of that?
Martin: Oh, it's very nice, son. But calligraphy really isn't a sport. More of a craft.

Niles: Listen, Frasier. I know you're trying to be sensitive, but you're not showing this woman any respect if you're not as honest with her as you would be with someone else.
Martin: Right, this is your show. When she gets her own show she can say whatever she wants.
Frasier: Wait a minute. You know what, Dad, you may be onto something there. Gosh, I don't know why I didn't think of that myself. You know what, I'm just going to call Kenny and tell him to give her her own show. They're looking for a replacement for "Let's Go Camping With Dan & Jenny."
Martin: What happened to them?
Frasier: They don't know.

Roz: And don't worry, Chuck Ranberg said he'd take over for the week.
Frasier: Absolutely not, Roz. The man's speech impediment will make me giggle all week long.
Roz: Show a little compassion!
Frasier: Oh, come on, you try dealing with a call screener who says, "Dr. Cwane, we have a kweptomaniac on wine fwee."

Frasier: Hi, Roz.
Roz: Hey, Frasier. I listened to your show for about twenty minutes today, I didn't even hear your voice.
Frasier: Well, I'm playing a diminished role these days. Although, still an important one. I am the glue that holds the show together. Or as Mary said in her intro, "The filling in our little Oreo."

Niles: I think Dad'll be properly impressed when I demonstrate my precision in footwork.
Daphne: Oh. It's very impressive, Dr. Crane. You know, I just remembered the Chihuly needs a good dusting.
Frasier: Daphne, I thought you cleaned that yesterday?
Daphne: Oh, did I?
Frasier: Oh, hello, Niles. What brings you here?
Niles: Here to demonstrate my newly acquired feet - [kicking up] hu-ho! - of fury!
Frasier: Carry on, Daphne.

Martin: You know, Frasier, there's such a thing as being too sensitive about this stuff. Now, if it was Roz blabbing on instead of this Mary, you'd tell her to put a sock in it, right?
Frasier: Well, I suppose so, but, you know, this is different, Dad. She's just starting out, I didn't want to squelch her enthusiasm.
Martin: Because she's black.
Frasier: Dad, please, will you just stop saying that? Anyway, I will just have to deal with it for a week until Roz gets back.
Martin: Black.
Frasier: Stop it!

Niles: For heaven's sake, Frasier, why don't you just talk to her?
Frasier: Well, it's a delicate situation, Niles. For God's sake, it's not all that easy. I mean, she is new to the field, she's sensitive, she's eager to please...
Martin: She's black.
Frasier: Dad, please.
Martin: Well, you know damn well that's what this whole thing's about. I don't know what the big deal is, if she's talking too much, just tell her to shut her big bazoo.

Roz: Well, it's no picnic working with Gil either. You know that little joke that he makes before every show that his taste buds are insured?
Frasier: Mmm.
Roz: They really are.
Frasier: Oh!
Roz: Guess who had to take the claims photo after he had to eat a hot slice of pizza?

Frasier: Oh, dear, there's Chuck Ranberg. Roz, you've got to tell him he doesn't have the job.
Roz: Why can't you tell him?
Frasier: I'm sorry, I can't hear the man speak without just descending into giggles.
Roz: Oh, you are such a child!
Chuck: Hi, guys.
Roz: Hey, Chuck, how's it going?
Chuck: Oh, tewwible, Woz. My wife was in the Cawwibean and she weft me for a Wastafawian.
[Roz starts laughing]