‘Rivals’
Season 7, Episode 6 - Aired November 4, 1999
When Frasier and Niles start new relationships, they are both convinced that the other has a thing for their date.
Quote from Niles
Regan: You do realize that I'm interested in your brother.
Niles: You mean, you're developing real feelings for him?
Regan: Yeah.
Niles: Well, you might think so now, but trust me, your future's not with him. I know this is confusing. You'll see everything more clearly when I've got you on the couch.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: You know, while we're at it, let's propose a toast to one pretty remarkable woman.
Niles: Well, she'd have to be to have won both of our hearts.
Frasier: Hear, hear.
Niles: Well, then...
Frasier: To Regan.
Niles: To Poppy.
Frasier: I think we're going to need two more here.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: He's a brave little soldier, isn't he? Awash in despair and yet he dances.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Niles, is that Regan and Poppy leaving just now?
Niles: It was, wasn't it?
Frasier: I want you to go after her.
Niles: What?
Frasier: Yes, I won't stand in your way.
Niles: No, Frasier, I would feel better if you went after her.
Frasier: No, I couldn't do that to you.
Niles: I think we're both feeling the same thing.
Frasier: I know we are ... you noble bastard.
Niles: Right back at you.
Quote from Roz
Roz: No, what I was hoping you'd do is buy a couple of tickets. They're only a hundred bucks each.
Frasier: I don't know Roz, I'd have to take a date. Seattle does have certain expectations about the sort of person I should be seen with.
Roz: Oh, that's easy. [Niles enters] Here he is. Let's see if he's free.
Frasier: I'll let you know!
Quote from Niles
Niles: Frasier, mind if I join you?
Frasier: Well, actually I'm not staying, I'm avoiding someone.
Niles: Oh, who?
Frasier: The new so-called arts critic at the station, Poppy.
Niles: Aha.
Frasier: The woman drives me mad. She gasses on endlessly about the most mundane matters. It's absolutely infuriating, as is that smirk of yours.
Niles: Well, I'm sorry if I've noticed that not a day goes by that you don't badmouth this woman.
Frasier: Well, with good reason. The woman is a windsock.
Niles: I'm wondering if someone isn't protesting a bit too much. She's very attractive, obviously well-bred. Perhaps all this "Pigtails and Inkwells" hostility is actually a latent attraction.
Frasier: Oh, bravo Dr. Crane! Yes, I think you're really on to something there.
Quote from Frasier
Poppy: Oh, where's Roz gone?
Frasier: Oh, she dashed off to the office. We're going to continue our meeting there. You know, Poppy, I was just telling my brother what an enchanting storyteller you are. Why don't you take my seat, and he can find out for himself? Ta-ta.
Quote from Frasier
Martin: Pretty sweet, huh? I just found her right out in the hall.
Frasier: Yes, well, I'm sorry Dad, but you can't keep her.
Quote from Martin
Martin: No, I've brought her here for you. I've been talking you up the whole time.
Frasier: Really?
Martin: Yeah. Listen, I've served this one to you on a platter. In fact, if it wasn't for the jasmine on your robe, I'd say that this one was a slam-dunk.
Frasier: I just wonder-
Martin: It's a basketball phrase.
Frasier: Yes, I know that, Dad.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: I just wonder how to chat up a half-naked woman without looking uncouth.
Martin: Well, just be friendly, you know. She's a veterinarian, she's single, she's very athletic, as you can tell from that body. And Lord...
Frasier: Oh, Dad, please.
Martin: Just because you're serving the cake doesn't mean you can't have a few crumbs that drop off.